Keeper of the Clown Bell

I only hope that when the KOTCB blog is discovered by the NSA and I'm dragged before the high council (or whatever the Star Chamber is called) that I have a black mother to call as witness for my defense. They are treated with unconditional love and sympathy by judgmental people across the political spectrum. A black mother can do or say almost anything and TV people will not just nod in agreement - they'll jump out of their seat shouting their admiration and fervent agreement with whatever the woman espouses. They are forgiving people who can look past years of criminal activity and find the good in every soul, especially if it's their own son. As Toya Graham says about young Michael in the video above: "Is he the perfect boy? No he's NOT! But he's mine." They are absolutely immune to cross examination or skepticism or even the most modest standard of personal responsibility for the behavior of their loved ones. Single Mother of the Year - Toya

Japanese Prime minister Shinzo Abe is making the rounds talking about women's rights and such and yesterday he arrived in DC to catch an Orioles game (too bad, canceled) and to talk about emojis with the Prez. All good with Nippon, the Mori Faction, and Japan's Liberal Democratic Party (which, over there, means  sort of the opposite of what it means in the USA). But I think the nationalist Abe is trying to find a way to get his island "back in the game" as they say. And he just might have found the guy who'll let him do it... State Media reports on the goals of this weeks visit One of the first things the two allies will do is sign an updated defense agreement that, among other things, would allow for Japan to respond militarily should U.S. interests be attacked. That's important given concerns over North Korea's nuclear capability and China's rising military prowess. Since World War II, Japan has had a pacifist constitution, which

The New Face of Conservative Republicanism When I wrote my Valentine note to Bruce Jenner (or whatever s/he calls s/himself these days) back in February I proposed the idea that maybe all of this gender mutation business was part of an elaborate prank - surely it would be one of the greatest of all time. But it's clear that the decathlete was light years ahead of my simplistic punking and trolling strategy - this dude(ess) is taking Transgender Nation to LGBTQ DEFCON5 by espousing solidarity with Conservative Republicans . Talk about a "big tent" - this is going to be a 3 ring circus. Book s/him into a prime time slot in Cleveland 2016 and watch Tony Kushner spin in his grave - oh, he's not dead yet, never mind. Still, watching Ted Cruz and Bruce Jenner stump together will be fantastic for this blog and all right thinking people world wide. Speaking of Cleavland, another famous Grover is already strolling down Avenue Q and there's nothing blue about him.

I keep getting sent this David Simon op-ed from the Guardian about the 2 Americas and Marx and Socialism and 1932 and throwing bricks and all the rest. Lots of people seem to think it's brilliant - some even think it's historic - others see though the gloss. "There are now two Americas. My country is a horror show" That's the message of John Edwards , er, David Simon and the culprit is, of course, 1980 - and we ALL know what happened in 1980, right? "We" made a big mistake. "We" turned the reigns over to self serving Capitalists and let "Them" win it all. But David Simon gives too much credit to the "Reagan Interruption" and neglects the fact that Reagan was an FDR Democrat long before Nancy brain washed him into switching parties. No, before 1980 there was a far more significant year - 1932. That's the year David Simon yearns for - The year that started everything we now need to re-start to make us a comm

" The exact nature of those approval procedures was not immediately clear. "  Get used to it people - soon these things will be on autopilot with on board sensors and engagement protocols programed in for patrolling everything from pipelines and power lines to city streets and gated communities. There will be no one to hold responsible when your pet or teenager gets zapped and there will be "no words" from the machine that zapped them. They're cheep, easy to fly, extremely lethal and anyone can get them. I am confident that in years to come there will be many more inadvertent killings of innocent victims with wordless "apologies" to follow.  And then, of course, there will be the deliberate killings which are incalculable and justified (as they say). It is, without a doubt, the wimpy way of war, but it looks like it's here to stay so start studying up on the enemy and keep your head down, sucker. Know Your Drone You think you kn

The Mystery Machine The Cast Robby Mook - Don of Mook Mafia Huma Abedin - The Twist Karen Finney - The Shill INT: HOME OFFICE A phone rings in Chappaqua. Huma - "hello." Robby - "Hi Huma, I wanted to go over the Iowa marketing plan and messaging. Is she available?" Huma - "Not a good time Robby, she's pretty upset about Maureen Dowd's ' Open Letter ' and she's locked herself in our bedroom. Keren's here though." Robby - "Hey Karen, well, it's kinda important Huma 'cause the Iowa tour is coming up fast. Let's decide on a theme and you can fill her in once she pulls herself together." Huma - "That's fine, she thinks this whole 'listening tour' is bullshit anyway, but it seemed to work in New York so... whatever." Robby - "Great. Do you have the charts? I've been trying to email them to all of you, but it keeps bouncing. What email are you guys usi

Earth Day 2015 Rotating on its axis at approximately 1041 MPH and orbiting the Sun at 69,360 MPH our Earth is moving fast. The Sun (and our  Solar system) is orbiting around the Galaxy at 446,400 MPH which adds to the overall speed of the equation. So is it any wonder that man is obsessed with getting off this ride? Every year since 1970 the globe has marked Vladimir Lenin's birthday with Earth Day celebrations that champion his cause. Targeted at the middle class(peasant) this event is very popular with the modern global citizen - but why shouldn't it be? As Lenin said: "No Bolshevik, no Communist, no intelligent socialist has ever entertained the idea of violence against the middle peasants. All socialists have always spoken of agreement with them and of their gradual and voluntary transition to socialism."  The Earth is quite old and did not always look the way it does today. The Triassic period sheds some light on our current pre

Today (Patriots' Day) the hoofers ran the Beantown massacre marathon two years after a pair of New America bros. blew up innocent bystanders and runners for no good reason ( pity Chechnya ). They call it terror but then, what do you call 30 thousand joggers running 26 miles across New England sprawl in April. Horrible, but mid-April is a terror time. Back in the 90's there was a mass murder in Waco Texas and a year later (to the day 4/19) the Federal office building in Oklahoma City was blown to bits by domestic terrorist Timothy McVeigh. Memories are short and people forget so last year a group of concerned citizens petitioned the Oklahoma state government to erect a monument in commemoration of the bombing (though for some reason they want it to be placed in front of the state capital instead of the Federal building where it belongs). I know, I know - The Great Satan is supposed to be extended the same protection we provide to ALL religions but I'd take a sledge h

" What a circus . A chaotic clash between clowns and animal rights protesters erupted under the big top at a circus in Southern California Friday night, according to reports. " There is no question where the KOTCB Blog stands in this conflict - Our hearts are with the Ramos Bros. Circus and there $25 tickets = Fun for the entire family. PeTA on the other hand is a killjoy that tries to buy love by printing photos of nude movie stars shaming citizens who wear fur coats to circus. San Bernardino is located in California's Inland Empire which is populated with people who have escaped LA and it's PeTA people - but the PeTA people will not leave them alone. They've "hounded" Joe-six-pack into the desert and attacked a circus. I only hope the spectators got their money's worth when the clowns beat the protestors.

E strogen S teroid P encil-neck N ews is the 1%er of cable networks. They rake in so much cash that even the Mouse leaves them alone in their Bristol, Connecticut gated community. Valued at $50B+ they do as they please and what pleases them is to turn sports into corporate mush. The CG graphics, the bumper "music" (or whatever it is you call that throbbing exclamation point they constantly play when promoting themselves), the "banter" and smack the color guys always lay on each other and the "we are the champions" ethos oozes from the smart box into the brains of young meat heads around the world. Is it any wonder that these pampered talking (dick)Heads treat the buffoons who watch their insipid, blathering commentary with contempt ? Keith Olberman still works there (or is he suspended now - I can't keep up) and now Olberman's bride has been captured au naturel paying a tow-truck company who had the audacity to boost her car. This is how they

I like Barbar because he's rich There are some animals that you just shouldn't piss off - Sharks, Bears, Dachshunds and Elephants. Barbar can do some serious damage - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly - but a torturous death is assured to anyone stupid enough to mess with the mammoth. So I was happy to see The Undertaker poke the biggest White Elephant ever on CNBC today when he said, among other stupid things, this regarding his New Years Eve injuries: HARWOOD:  The last few days a bunch of people are saying, "Reid, he didn't have an exercise accident. He got beat up by the mob." REID:  It shows the credibility of Rush Limbaugh.  He's the guy that got all this started.  Why in the world would I come up with a story that I got hurt in my own bathroom with my wife standing there?  How could anyone say anything like that?  I think a lot of people, as I read, they kind of don't like me as a person and I think that's unfortunate. [Que

150 years ago today honest Abe was laid low by a Democrat Thespian and the hatred for Republicans endures among practitioners of the performing arts to this day. There are several reasons for this confused animosity but probably the greatest is the deep personal insecurity that all actors posses (require) to master their craft. This insecurity is pitted in an eternal battle with the republican ideal that tampers the tyranny of democracy.  This republican ideal elevates natural law, civic virtue, courageous honor and temperate passions - all things the thespians despise. We will never know how Lincoln would have navigated the complicated aftermath of the war but based on all the came before his untimely death by assassination I believe we would live in a better country had he lived and worked his righteous republicanism into the South's reconstruction. Instead the Confederates enjoyed/endured 70 years as a third world backwater. There is so much to say about Lincoln (and Booth) b

As one who hates driving even more that Hillary Clinton I should, in theory, welcome the advent of the self driving car. I daydream about getting in my wheeled pod, shouting out a location and kicking back to dictate my blog post into a smart phone while I enjoy the ride - but until I'm first lady, senator, sec. of state and foundation boob I won't be able to do it. I've got to drive and, as the great Sammy Hagar sang long ago (before Elon Musk hit puberty), "I can't drive 55" but the "smarter planet" is doing all it can to force my compliance - to govern me as it were. Insurance companies exploit these smart analytics and take the fun out of life - which is why Progressive is the greatest name for an insurance company ever and their commercial about the companies Snapshot® tracking device is so depressingly - depressing. Me, I'm a Fast & Furious guy and always have been - probably always will be. From it's inception in 2

The people of Rhode Island hold a special place in my heart - especially the long timers, by which I mean those who can trace their direct lineage to 17th century Massachusetts and the forced diaspora of its colonial free thinkers to Roger Williams's haven of religious tolerance which he named Providence. In the early days the original 13 were situated in such a way that all loose marbles rolled toward the Narragansett Bay. There are a lot of Democrat politicians "exploring" at 2016 run, but the most exciting is the Republican turned Independent turned Democrat named Lincoln . Some people like Philip Bump over at WaPo find it "odd. " But I'm with the current President on this one - " consistency is the hobgoblin of narrow minds ". Also, Linc is genuinely liberal (in the true sense of the word) and unafraid to promote his ideas even if it means loosing elections and being hated by his constituents. He uses the term Holiday Tree when talking

It's hard not to post something about the Supreme Leader's speech yesterday - not ours - theirs . And it calls to mind one of the major weaknesses of a democracy when confronting a totalitarian state which is on full display in this P5+1 Framework Agreement that John Kerry and BHO have been touting. There is no internal division with the Iranians or the Russians or the Chinese - no party gets to "one up the other" and bring home the trophy to their adoring partisans who will rub poop pie in the oppositions face - there is no opposition for the Tot's. For the squabbling couples locked in the democratic marriage it's much more complicated. Enter couples therapist W alter Russell Mead to try and talk some sense into the Mommy Party's scattered brain while the Daddy Party slumps forward, head in hand, thinking, "I've said this to her myself so many times already but she just doesn't listen." Iran must be taken seriously when it says it

Once you've seen it, who could ever forget Lucy getting sauced on Vitameatavegamin in her side-splitting omen regarding the emerging drug war. It's funny - it's even profound if you look at it the way I do - and it resonates down through the decades. In 2009 the Vitameatavegamin moment, which has been rerun a bazillion times, was immortalized by sculptor Dave Poulin and the folks in Celoron, NY have been scared to look truth in the bronze eye ever since. The great artist himself knows the reason why : The sculptor responsible for the "frightening" Lucille Ball statue that's been terrorizing local residents is now offering to fix it for free, admitting it is "by far my most unsettling sculpture." Well, I'll let you be the judge of that: Now the outrage has "gone viral" and the people of the earth are demanding this statue be removed and replaced - poor Mr. Poulin has even offered to "fix" it at his own expense. Fi

I wasn't going to say anything after last Saturday night's Wisconsin slap-down of UK - I was just going to let the shame of forfeiture pass silently into the black hole of Obama's history (like everything else). He had his shot at redemption and he blew it (again) and now he's only got one more Presidential March Madness Bracket to save himself with because nobody's going to care what he thinks about anything come March 2017. I'm not going to harp on Baracketology - it's been a disaster since the Sweet 16 and it only got worse over time ending in a complete mess (look for yourself if you can stomach it) . PCT 39.5 % - I mean, that's lower than his presidential approval rating. Among celebs the Prez ranks below Common but above Kermit the frog and, if you think about it, that sort of makes sense. BTW - I admire both Common and Kermit very much. But there is one "celeb" that didn't make the ESPN list - a "celeb" that

Example 3,023 of what's wrong with modern "architecture". I'm staying in this hotel that feels like a soft prison. Guard checks for bomb in your car before check in, then elevators don't have buttons, keys are plastic, elevators are Pneumatic tubes (not really, they just look like it), neon hell outside the window bright as the sun. Someone designed this place - someone who hates humans.

About that fake gang rape story that roiled the town of Charlottesvile, VA (and the nation) last November, well, Rolling Stone wants to get to the bottom of it . As we asked ourselves how we could have gotten the story wrong, we decided the only responsible and credible thing to do was to ask someone from  outside the magazine to investigate any lapses in reporting, editing and fact-checking behind the story. We reached out to Steve Coll, dean of the Columbia School of Journalism, and a Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter himself, who accepted our offer. Steve Coll - Beltway baby, Occidental, WaPo, New Yorker, New America Foundation and  now, CSJ dean. How's that for an "outsider" and I wonder what he'll find? I think he'll find the New America Foundation's hymen "American Oxycodone" crooned by the internationally acclaimed pop star Rihanna at Saturday's Final 4 halftime gala in Indiana holds a clue (or two). I say, you see, thi

I've always been a big  Taco Bell  fan - Any company that can sell an edible beef product for aprox. $1 deserves respect. And as someone who thinks "outside the bun" I feel a certain solidarity with Yum Brands marketing department. I know they're a huge multinational and God knows how they process and transport their food but the advertising is right on - like the whole concept of " 4th meal " to promote eating tacos at midnight (never a good idea, but sometimes...). Well, I'm sitting in the local multiplex last night getting ready to watch Fast and Furious 7 with my son and the most effective laxative known to man presented a sort film before the main attraction. It might as well have been a KOTCB production - Absolutely magnificent in it's message and production value. Also, the concept of making a breakfast sandwich in the shape of a hexagon is truly inspiring on a symbolic level and practical for easy consumption. But what puts the film "

There's been a lot of confusion about the P5+1 Framework coming out of the Lausanne, Switzerland negotiations. The Silver-Spooned Surfer says one thing and WaPo says another - how can that be? Well, it's a very complex negotiation with "details" yet to be worked out but luckily I've found a slide from John Kerry's PowerPoint deck that clears things up (a bit) and should put everyone's mind at ease. Here you see the big picture - the Framework is designed to achieve a specific outcome ($) and now all they have to do is work out the details .  Hope this helps. You're welcome. You might also want to thank Mohammad Javad Zarif for his leadership - I expect he will be handsomely rewarded in years to come. Esfandyar Batmanghelidj, who is organising an event in Geneva in September to bring Iranian and foreign investors together to study business opportunities in post-sanctions Iran, also welcomed the news. “Rouhani’s political legitimacy and th

House of Cards Season 1 review and comment + antidote: Good Frank/Bad Frank I wrapped up watching season 1 of HOC last weekend (and yes I know I'm 3 years late) - I had been holding out on this particular program for one specific reason - I hate fake Presidents . I mean, I really hate them . The liberal/progressive fake Presidents ( Andrew Shepard * or Josiah "Jed" Bartlet ) serve as a crutch for disaffected looser voters who didn't get their way from 1968-2008 and in that 40 year drought, when the US was lead by GOP crooks and Southern moderates, these bleeding heart moralising fakes were all the hand-wringers had to hold on to - there only "Hope" as it were. Lefties in LA and NYC created a fully developed alternative universe where what was actually happening in the United States wasn't happening, where a strong liberal visionary President grabbed the reigns of power and put the racist/sexist/capitalist/ist-ist's in their place and made them