Keeper of the Clown Bell

...and it's the most ridiculous awards show there is (and that's saying something). I had just finished watching the magnificent New England Patriots dismantle the favored Indy Colts in the AFC playoff game (how can the Pats EVER be underdogs) and I hit the channel button on my remote controls jumping up one click just in time to see NATALIE PORTMAN win a Best Supporting Actress globe and this thought crossed my mind - This is nepotism that calls out for revolution.

Like masturbating in church... 

NFL   Everything about the league should be cut by 1/4 - the number of teams, The number of players on a team, The number of games played in a season, the size of the stadiums, etc.  No one should suit up before Labor Day and the Super Bowl should be played before Christmas.  There should be no Sudden Death except in play-off games - The Super Bowl should have no sudden death overtime.  NFC teams should not have Cheerleaders.  The Dallas Cowboys should be moved to the AFC and the Cleveland Browns should be moved to the NFC.  There should be no domed stadiums or artificial turf.  Greatest: There are Three great teams - the Packers, the Redskins and the Browns.  NCAA Football   There should be no ranking of College football teams - No such thing as a National Champion.  No Sudden Death overtime in College Football.  The Rose Bowl should always be Pac 10 champ vs. Big 10 champ.  The Cotton Bowl should always be Big 12 champ vs. SEC champ.  The Sugar Bowl should always be ACC champ vs. Big

What a lousy way to spend 5 hours on a Tuesday night. Clowns a plenty in this spectacle, but the half time show really made me wonder if I had woken up in a strange parallel universe that glorifies and worships everything that is wrong and evil in the world. How else can you explain the low quality of everything in the show - the sound was horrible, but the music was even worse and the clothing...Jesus...Topped off by a message that was so negative and self centered that I really just wanted to leave the country - scratch that. I wanted to leave the earth. Where is the Hiale-Bopp comet when you need it? Shaq, Mickey Mouse, Ashley Simpson... All so mediocre and ABC Television would use video of our troop in Iraq as bumpers to commercial breaks (some of the commercials were actually pretty funny) and I would think to myself - because I was alone - Are these brave men and women fighting in Iraq so that we can watch Ashley Simpson make a fool of herself to an audience of MILLIONS during th

I arrive back in the USA on New Years Eve 12.31.04 and turn on the TV to watch the BALL drop and all I see is disingenuous hand ringing about the health of Dick Clark - Madonna, Elton, Travolta were all on the TV wishing DC a speedy recovery. I think I even saw Snoop Dogg wishing him well and some fool had the audacity to say "Rock n Roll needs you". yeh, like a hole in the head. There is something just to damn weird about Dick Clark and the American cult of eternal youth. The Clown Bell has rung loudly and often for Mr. Clark since the day I heard him introduce the Bay City Rollers as the new Beatles back in the mid "70s (last century).