Keeper of the Clown Bell

"I want a divorce!" Every married man has probably heard the bitter words of an angry and frustrated wife demanding an end to her loveless marriage and fresh start for her existence (without Him!!!). It's okay - it usually doesn't happen until after at least 5 or 6 years of trying to improve the stupid man-child and, for the husband, these will be very happy years and provide a lifetime of pleasant memories. Shotgun weddings, like the one we're living through, almost never have a honeymoon of blissful cajoling and temperate suggestions for improvement.  The declaration of hatred and separation is delivered abruptly and "out of the blue", so to speak, but anyone looking back on the previous year with clear eyes can see that it was only a matter of time until the little lady blew a fuse and demanded her freedom... well, not freedom exactly, but it's a declaration that she's going to force her man to live the life of the living dead for as lo

“Long before Barack Obama, there was Doug Wilder. The trail blazed by Wilder, the first African-American elected Governor of any state, helped to make President Obama possible. Now for the first time, this grandson of slaves tells his remarkable story in his own inimitable fashion. Son of Virginia is an instant classic that will inform and inspire for generations to come.”--Prof. Larry J. Sabato, Director, University of Virginia Center for Politics 30 years ago a high yellow dude from Richmond got himself elected Gov. of the Commonwealth of Virginia. He was a first (and so far, the last) negro to attain this high office which caused a big stir in a State that 25 years earlier had been fighting the desegregation and racial integration imposed on it by the Civil Rights Act of 1964. It all worked out - the Gov. was shagging the wife of a media mogul campaign donor which is what outlawing discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin was all about - Wilder d

Republicans drink coffee When discussing the American Republic known as the United States of America and fidelity to the Declaration of Independence that initiated it, the Articles of Confederation and Perpetual Union that formed it and the Constitution that established it I like to remember the fact that at least 1/3erd of the Colonial settlers wanted nothing to do with this "experiment in self government" and hated the fledgling nation a small group of free-thinking rabble-rousers and farmers created. Our Founding Father revolutionaries foreswore tea in testament to their republican commitment but from the birth of our nation until this very day there has always been a significant number of tea drinking cat ladies Loyal to Leviathan . "The Constitution says there can be no titles of nobility, so while the president can name his son Barron, he can't make him a baron" - so says Pamela Karlan , Cat Lady Lesbo Law Professor at Trump University . This ha

It's November and, as longtime readers of the KOTCB blog already know, that means the annual gridiron contest between Episcopal High School (AKA The High School) and Woodberry Forest School (AKA The Forest) was fought out a few weeks ago. This was year 119 and, being the odd year, the struggle took place in Alexandria at the imposing Hummel Bowl which was donated 50 years ago by an alum who credited the moral and academic training he received at EHS with much of his future success in the game of life. For graduates of these two institutions this is the only football game that really matters and there are countless hours of engagement, reminiscence and daydreaming spent on the Maroon vs. the Tigers battle which they call "The Game." No matter how good or bad the teams regular season has been up to the 2nd Saturday in November a victory or loss in "The Game" can salvage or destroy its standing . This year my nephew suited up and ran the ball for 150 yards an

Alive & Dead In early October, just before bow season starts, the whitetail deer are plentiful and playful in my part of the world. They're everywhere and since no one is trying to kill them (yet) they are quite bold and nonchalant in their meandering around the land, devouring crops and damaging property. This is the time of year when several unfortunate people will die as a result of a careless deer leaping into the road and smashing through the windshield at 50 MPH or (worse) forcing a car off the road and into a tree in an effort to avoid hurting the skittish animal. Noble and silent they hide out in the woods during the day, but at night they step out into the open fields and gather in herds 10-20 strong to roam the land. Go outside for a sunrise walk and you'll see them grazing on yonder hillside or strolling along the lake shore sniffing the air. They run, they jump and, from time to time, they get their hoof tangled in a wire fence where they dangle, prone and v

If you can't win then blow it up. The art of playing it where it lies. The rules are: 1. PLAY GOLF 2. STAY FOCUSED 3. BE PARANOID 4. BE PASSIONATE 5. GO AGAINST THE TIDE 6. GO WITH YOUR GUT 7. WORK WITH PEOPLE YOU LIKE 8. BE LUCKY 9. GET EVEN 10. ALWAYS HAVE A PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT That's from DJT's #1 Best Selling book  Trump: The Art of the Comeback which details how the future President of the United States clawed his way back to glory and super wealth after losing it all (on paper) due to divorce and a '90's "depression" in the NYC real estate market. There are those who find The Donald's beliefs "odd" and this Top 10 list is just the tippy-top peak of a mammoth iceberg of belief like the kind of thing you find floating off the coast of Greenland. It's a well developed design for living born of disciplined parenting and hard knock disappointment and betrayal and the Elvis from Queens has no trouble discussing, i

I am the Walrus This will probably make me sound like a sociopath but on the morning of September 12, 2001 I woke up just like any other day, put on my suit and walked through Central Park to my midtown office to begin a days work. It was quiet in the city and not many people were "on the job" so I called my boss on the phone and asked him, "what's up? Seems like no one's working today." There was a confused pause on the other end of the line and then a gentle suggestion that I just take the week off and go spend some time with my wife and kids. So that's where my head was at the day after the 9/11 terror attacks and the reason, as I understand it, is simple enough - I was in NYC for the 1993 World Trade Center bombing and 2/26 was just another day in the Big Apple. The City didn't stop! We didn't "let the terrorist win." I was taking in a matinee screening of James Cameron's "The Abyss" (appropriately enough as it tur

Argument #4 When I returned home from a week at the beach this summer my 10 year old 32" LCD TV was on the fritz. Oh, it still turned on, and the sound worked, I could flip through the channels but the color was whack because the "brightness" was saturating everything on the screen. It was unwatchable, but I watched it anyway because I'm lazy and I mostly keep it on for background noise listening to news or weather reports. After a month of this admittedly poor situation my wife demanded that I do something about it and so, being cheap, I tried to get it repaired. The TV repair shop I patronized for years has closed its doors so I had to visit the TV dealership for a diagnostic examination where I was told that a simple power supply replacement would cost $150 and replacing the board or chips would be $300+ if the discontinued parts could be found. I might as well buy a new one so I did - 43" LED flat as a pancake and light enough to lift with one hand all