Keeper of the Clown Bell

Scanning my FB feed this morning I scrolled across this beauty to start my day. The realization that the US Constitution created an electoral college to act as democratic electors of the national leaders has, in the mind of Trustafarian Americanus, invalidated the notion that the United States of America is a democracy at all. Even though this fellow has a wonderful, (very) well educated family and has attended fine educational institutions himself the electoral college proves that he's been "lied to" all his life. In a sense, he's right - it's easy to go through life in America and not learn a damn thing about the US Constitution and it's republican form of government. For instance, this same disillusioned youth took to the streets (Interstate Highway System, actually) a few weeks ago and joined a BLM mob who shut down the 405 in Los Angeles. SHUT IT DOWN! Have you ever driven on the 405? There are few stretches of highway in America more strife ridden than

I love party unity, not that there was ever a chance that Bernie wasn't going to come around at the end of the day - he was, from the very start, a stalking horse designed to keep the moonbats in the Democrat party leashed and subservient - but it must have been embarrassing for the constitutional monarchist to have the inside story splashed across the internet for all his supporters to see. They're still processing the information and attempting to prevent the cold hard truth from sinking into their higher consciousness. The truth: We got played. Bernie was never an insurgent or a revolutionary but instead he was a 74 year old hippy who the DNC rolled out to sooth the unhinged masses the Dems need to win elections. His candidacy was designed to keep the Ralph Nader Democrats on the reservation and if all had gone according to plan he would have arrived at the Convention with 15% of the delegates and obediently handed them over to her highness. Ted Cruz was going

If you hand 16 year old skate rats some electric guitars and a drum kit wonderful things happen - you get pure and awesome rock n' roll as only teenagers can play it. There has never been a better example than JFA which came screeching out of the SoCal skate parks in the early 1980's and for a few years tore it up and down the western coast of the USA. Their name - one of the greatest rock band names ever - derived from the crush John Hinckley had on Jodie Foster which compelled him to attempt the assassination of a president . Absolutely preposterous and insane as a theory it still has legs and is reported as truth in our Bigfoot media. Keep that in mind when you read about the dastardly Russian hackers and their treachery in breaking into the DNC email servers. As someone who's spent years in IT and explored my share of high profile security breaches I can tell you that most (almost all) cyber crimes originate from someone inside the organization that gets comprom

Michael Moore does not believe he is part of the 1% . "And it was a mistake to ever give me a dime from the day Time Warner actually gave me money to buy "Roger and Me." ...I hope they rue the day that they ever allowed me up on a movie screens." Rue the day? Good God, my man, they celebrate the day because they found in "Roger and Me" a vain of gold that could be mined for years and deliver money and acclaim to their shareholders. This gusher of disaffected and bitter (pale) cash looks great on their balance sheet and has put you in a crib looking over Central Park West ( among other places ) - I know because I used to see your sebaceous pastie ass waddling around the neighborhood making the rounds to Zabar's and Barney Greengrass and wherever. You only got 1 ticket from me in all the years of "film making" and that was for "Roger and Me" which I saw at a now defunct movie theater in NW DC with a small audience of well healed Wa

There really is nothing quite so entertaining as a feud between real estate moguls - other industries have their egomaniacal, petty, overpaid titans (Music, Fashion, Banking, etc.) but there's something about RE that attracts a certain kind of personality - touchy, conniving, shameless and funny. So the back and forth between The Donald and Mort Zuckerman has been a highlight of this election season. And as one might expect, Mort Z's dirty paper the New York Daily News gave a Bronx cheer to the Elvis from Queens and his GOP acceptance speech - using a clown to represent the paper, The clown horn toots! Honestly, there's almost a KOTCB law suit in this somewhere, but putting that aside, let me ring the clown bell at this flag draped paint-stain and his objections point by point: Nationwide, violent crime is actually at its lowest point since 1970 according to the FBI - Great news America, only 1,197,987  violent crimes and only 14,249 murders. Nothing to get ups

Tina Brown "Americana"  I used to read The New Yorker, I was a subscriber pre Tina Brown and liked to read through the meandering articles and poetry and cartoons. I liked the magazine covers. I liked seeing what was going on in NYC (at the time I lived in Washington DC - land of lawyerly stiffness and ladies dressed in business suits) with its abounding arts, theater, film and every other kind of entertainment or diversion. Honestly, on any given night in New York City there are literally hundreds of worthwhile things to do or experience and The New Yorker listed them all so that everyone living in a glorified cowtown like DC could just sit and stew over the banality of their 2nd tier existence. Most of all I liked the strange netherworld the magazine inhabited - like a cross between a literary journal and Needlepoint Now with a little Farmer's Almanac tossed in to the mix. That's a long way of saying that there was something very "American" about The

Our thoughts are with #Nice tonight. pic.twitter.com/8nR9BD6FIV — Huffington Post (@HuffingtonPost) July 14, 2016 Nice thoughts. Especially because Islam is a religion of peace . My friends from around the world text me things like this: "Nice, France slaughter, 80 dead, MG how long will it take for folks to realize?" Answer: Three (3!) days after 9/11 I stood on the sidewalk at Union Square and watched thousands of free citizens march past me chanting and singing in an anti-war peace parade. They wanted to make a preemptive strike, psychologically speaking, on the body politic to forestall any military retaliation on the terrorists who had JUST FLOWN TWO COMMERCIAL JETS INTO THE ECONOMIC HEART OF AMERICA (and the Western world). I remember thinking to myself at the time - We're toast. We don't have the stomach or the commitment to outlast this adversary and, to be perfectly honest, an objective review of the parade of misfits in front of me gave me pause

“Pocahontas” Warren call your office, I think we've found a way to put all the name calling and taunts about your Native American fantasy behind us and move on. This woman Kim took a simple DNA test and got a full breakdown on where she came from including percentages - she's more that 1/4 Native American and that's 1. surprising to her and 2. has opened up a new world of opportunity. Interesting... Perhaps she did not know her parents or grandparents or great-grandparents for to be 1/4 Indian one or at least a few of them would have to be Indian too - I'm not saying full on Navajo or Algonquin or whatever but half-breeds or something close to push that much genetic material into Kim. So where's the surprise? This knowledge really does affect how a person perceives themselves and does open up, in some strange and inexplicable way, the persona one builds to strange new possibilities - especially in a racialist society. And these surprising and opportunistic

30 times the wait for half the value It's 7/11Day and that means lines through the door of the soulless convenience store at the local strip mall of Americans looking for a hand-out.  You never really know how much Americans love the iced sugar water of a Slurpee until you hand them out for free and then the humans come out of their hobbit holes by the mini-van load to fill their cup. You probably will think I'm making this up but I'm not - it takes about 25 minutes of waiting in line just to get in front of the Slurpee machine but people will do it for a free drink and do it gladly, happily. And they're not even getting a full sized Slurpee but some special edition super small cup which is more like a half Slurpee. So people are waiting inside a 7-Eleven (one of the most inhospitable environments ever devised by man) for a half hour (or 30 times the average wait time) for a product that's half its normal value and that product only costs about $1.00. No wonde

Bank Robbery? No, just domestic terror. A strange thing happened on July 4th weekend when the NYTimes allowed an opinion piece like the one Ross Douthat wrote titled " The Myth of Cosmopolitanism " to be published in their pages. I'm not saying it never happens (but it happens pretty rarely) that the Times publishes something like this and they probably figured what the hell, no one reads the Saturday paper on the 4th of July weekend but even so you'd think the editors would have some kind of algorithm that would red flag stuff like: The people who consider themselves “cosmopolitan” in today’s West, by contrast, are part of a meritocratic order that transforms difference into similarity, by plucking the best and brightest from everywhere and homogenizing them into the peculiar species that we call “global citizens.” They have their own distinctive worldview (basically liberal Christianity without Christ), their own common educational experience, their own shar

This will be an unusual statement in at least a couple ways . First, I am going to include more detail about our process than I ordinarily would, because I think the American people deserve those details in a case of intense public interest. Second, I have not coordinated or reviewed this statement in any way with the Department of Justice or any other part of the government. They do not know what I am about to say. "Detail about our process" because unless you understand the process you'll never believe what's going to come next. The DOJ nor anyone in the Executive Branch has any idea that I'm about to do this because I don't trust them. Okay, that's two, or a couple of ways, but  FBI Director James B. Comey said his statement today on the Investigation of Secretary Hillary Clinton’s Use of a Personal E-Mail System was going to be interesting in at least a couple of ways - implying that it would be interesting in more ways than just two. What el

Volunteers of America Outside my back door Between the logs of a depleted woodpile A volunteer sunflower shot up Unfolding its golden peddles and shines God knows what breeze blew it along Or how and why its seed found purchase But there it stands alone, tall and proud Not the tallest I've seen but it shines all the same The protean wind and water blows The Peidmont red clay soil relents Roots take hold and growth begins Until the flower is cut down and urned Two of my friends became new US citizens this morning - one from Ireland the other from India - and I saw the former Irishman after confirmation at lunchtime and asked him how it went. "Great, 74 people form 41 countries of origin all new US citizens - they even took away my green card", he said. I asked him if he had to take a written test and he informed me that applicants for citizenship don't do written tests anymore but instead each person has a personal interview with a DHS agent who

Monarchist judges Founding Fathers mistaken in their efforts Politics is a funny game and usually there is a great deal of obfuscation and mis-direction at play when different sides espouse the fundamental ideology that animates their arguments and mission. That's true everywhere, but it's especially true in the USA for several good reasons: The two party system - Each of America's primary parties serve the function of aggregating a very diverse collection of political beliefs held by different (often competing) special interests. The truth hurts - The true beliefs held by these two parties, and the various minor political parties (Libertarian, Communist, etc.) rub people the wrong way so telling it straight makes it a lot harder to win elections. It's easy to lie - The news media and commentators in general are useless, ahistorical doormats who work in sycophantic and symbiotic collusion with the major political parties to maintain unchallenged order in th

Pulled out of the bay and transported deep into the hinterland for 4th of July festivities these mother shuckers know what they're doing and God Bless America for that. Can't do it with out refrigeration and ice - both of which we have plenty of + you need a truck, gas and some blacktop, check. Another day in the land of the free where we dress our raw oysters with lemon juice and Tabasco hot sauce and then drop them down our gullet.