Sunday, February 27, 2005

Pepsi - Drink of the Spartacus Generation

No, No, No!!!
It's not possible to create anything as fundamentally WRONG (I mean wrong in every conceivable way) as what BBDO did with the Pepsi advertisement using a scene from Spartacus that was shown tonight on the broadcast of the Academy Awards. It made me want to vomit.
How could you take a powerful moment from one of the great films (Kubrick for Christ's sake) and cheapen it with such mindless commercialism. I mean what's next?
Citizen Kane, Ben Hur, The Godfather all could be used to sell soda pop or pizza or whatever...

Message: You're all slaves and your moment of glory is found in drinking sugar water you pathetic, self absorbed couch potatoes.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Dennis the Menace

The infamous BTK (blind, torture, kill) serial killer has been arrested in Witchita Kansas and of course he's a middle aged white bureaucrat working for the State government. And what kind of job would a "person" like Dennis Rader find fulfilling? Answer: he was a supervisor of the compliance department - perfect.
BTW - Dennis Rader is a great name for a mass murder.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Psych Ward

You know, as a person who grew up in the afterbirth of the 60s counterculture I have heard it all. There is no political, philosophical or artistic argument or POV that has not crossed my reader in the last 30 years of consciousness, but having to listen to people like Ward Churchill does give me pause. Check out these ravings from Satya magazine and see what you think of this kook. Having lived in Boulder CO for some part of my life I am familiar with his world view, but it is really only places like Boulder that these "ideas" can take root and grow. These college towns - Berkeley, Amherst, Chapel Hill and others foster a kind of "progressive" that is about as relevant to American society as the Amish people who live in a different closed society - but no less closed. But why is he on the Clown Bell Blog? Because it turns out they guy is not really an Indian (Native American as they are now called) as he has claimed to be - he's a big fat faker.


Native American Shithead Posted by Hello

Monday, February 21, 2005

Friday, February 18, 2005

Notes on a talk by Christo and Jeanne-Claude

Last night I heard Christo and Jeanne-Claude give a talk to a smallish group of art enthusiasts in NYC. I learned something about them and their art and here are my observations.

  1. How can people live in New York City for 41 years and not learn the English language? Christo spoke like he had just gotten off the boat from Bulgaria (if there is a boat from there) and Jeanne-Caude was not much better though she did seem to know more words that he did. [I contend that if I were to spend 41 years in Sophia I would know how to speak the Bulgarian language fluently and without an American accent.]
  2. All of their art is created "only for themselves" and they could not care less if anyone likes it or not. However, everyone must live with it because they usurp all of the natural and man made elements in and around their work. As Jeanne-Claude said, "the rocks, the trees, the New York City skyline" are all part of The Gates. In my opinion this is a totalitarian world view that works for propaganda, but is antithetical to art.
  3. They are not capable of answering a question with a simple or even complicated answer. As an example: a man asked why The Gates would only be on display for 16 days? Their answer was in the form of a question - "Why wrap the islands for only 12 days? Why Running Fence for only 14 days?" And on and on... So I guess there is no answer to the question or they have never really thought about it.
  4. They won't talk about religion, politics or their personal histories because that has "nothing to do with Art". Well then what the hell does art have to do with?
  5. A woman asked what had influenced their design for The Gates and again they had no answer, but pretended not to understand her language (English) and her question. "We are old" they said and moved on to the next question. However, I did take 10 minutes to Google the words "the gates" and it's amazing what I came up with. I have posted a few of my findings below.


Clowns? Yes, I think so and with an insane clown posse. Posted by Hello

Collectivist Narcissism Posted by Hello

Possible Inspiration for The Gates

Below are some examples of artwork that might have inspired The Gates.
Though Christo and Jeanne-Claude can't seem to remember what has influenced their design I'd be willing to bet they made a trip to the Fushimi Inari Shrine on one of their visits to Japan.

Ancient Gate Posted by Hello

The Gates of Dawn by Herbert James Draper Posted by Hello

Fushimi Inari Strine - Japan Posted by Hello

Fushimi Inari Shrine - Japan Posted by Hello

Fushimi Inari Shrine - Japan Posted by Hello

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

OK, you're a Philistine

"'The Gates' is an abomination. Call me a Philistine, but how can one improve on trees, lakes and rocky outcroppings with miles of plastic-treated cloth? " wrote ANDREA PEYSER in a valentine hate note to Christo and Jeanne-Claude published in the NYPost.

Well, what crawled up her butt? I mean this isn't a permanent exhibit - she doesn't have to live with The Gates forever, only for about two weeks. Also, I think The Gates are bright and fun - my kids love them - and they bring a lot of people into the park on a cold Feb. weekend. The restaurants on the upper west side have been packed since The Gates went up. It's not as if The Gates have upside down US flags hanging from them or contain pots of Cristos poop at the base of each orange gate. God knows what many a contemporary artist would inflict on the psyches of New Yorkers were they allotted $20 million and a canvas as large as central park. Imagine what Bruce Nauman or Jeff Koons would do with that much cash and property!

Monday, February 14, 2005

Neil Portnow's GRAMMY Remarks

The music industry is evil. It's that simple, but there is such a thing as divine retribution and for Neil Portnow it comes in the form of peer-to-peer file sharing of recorded music. It's a tsunami more terrible than the wave that grew in the Indian Ocean on Boxing Day. But I say let it roll and roll until the streets of Hollywood are washed clean.


"In the days ahead, you can count on the entire music community to continue to play our part in supplying hope and inspiration to us all. "
Posted by Hello

Saturday, February 12, 2005

New Words for KOTCB

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate's disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.And the pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Social Security Reform is a done deal

I turned on Aaron Brown's News Night program tonight to see him interview uber clown Paul Krugman on the subject of Social Security reform. Because I've been paying into this "New Deal" program my entire life I listened with interest to the Krugman barometer. In short, the Princeton "Economist" believes that SS reform will NOT pass congress and this forecast almost assures a speedy passage of whatever the President submits to the hill this summer. No one - and I mean no one - is more consistantly wrong on politics than PK.

Krugman did provide one of the (unintentionally) funniest before and after moments during the 2004 election. Check out these abstracts from the NYTimes web site:

November 2, 2004, Tuesday (When he thought he would win)
Faith In America By PAUL KRUGMAN
ABSTRACT - Paul Krugman Op-Ed column says he is moved by pictures from Florida of early polling, showing long lines of citizens waiting sometimes for hours to cast their ballots; says it is clear that they--and, he believes, America as whole--have refused to give in to cynicism and spin; says most Americans, regardless of their politics, understand that this is crucial election, and that never before has their vote mattered so much for nation's destiny.

November 5, 2004, Friday (After he lost)
No Surrender By PAUL KRUGMAN
ABSTRACT - Paul Krugman Op-Ed column on Pres Bush not as conservative but as radical leader of coalition that deeply dislikes America as it is and would eviscerate legacy of Franklin Roosevelt; advises Democrats to maintain their intensity and not succumb to defeatism, noting that Bush did not win in landslide and would not have won at all if not for still-potent aura of Sept 11 attacks; says Democrats are not condemned to permanent minority status because religious right is only one bloc of voters, who Republican party has learned to mobilize with wedge issues; urges Democrats to become equally effective at mobilizing own base.

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Poor, Poor Rich - Clown For All Time

Frank Rich can be counted on to write idiotic commentary every Saturday in the NYTimes - and today was no exception. His theater reviews were politically laden slog and his time on the Op-Ed page was an embarrassment so Punch moved him to an Arts & leisure generalist - sort of like a Blog on paper. Here are a few jewels from today's effort(in red) with commentary (in blue):

The ensuing Washington indecency crusade has unleashed a wave of self-censorship on American television unrivaled since the McCarthy era...
Oh yes, the McCarthy Era - what would a Frank Rich do without Joe McCarthy who hasn't been a force in US politics FOR 50 YEARS!!! And what self-censorship is he talking about? I wish it were true, but TV is toilet filled with stinking crap produced by friends of Frank Rich.

Public television is now so fearful of crossing its government patrons that it is flirting with self-immolation...Next thing you know they'll be snipping lascivious flesh out of a documentary about Auschwitz.
Really? REALLY? Does this explain the John Tesh specials and other "cultural programming" on PBS? I thinK the Auschwitz reference was gratuitous.

...Ms. Jackson's breast pulled off its greatest coup of all: the re-election of President Bush.
Rich is gracious enough to call it a re-election even if he thinks of it as a coup.

MTV has been replaced as halftime producer by Don Mischer, the go-to guy for a guaranteed snoozefest; his credits include the Tony Awards, the Kennedy Center Honors and the 2004 Democratic National Convention...
So instead of having an organized sesspool like MTV who broadcasts to morons 24/7, the NFL or FOX or whoever runs the Super Bowl has hired a Super Democrat to run the halftime show - where's the McCarthyism in that?

...she took on "Postcards From Buster," threatening PBS with decreased financing because one episode had the show's eponymous animated rabbit hobnobbing with actual lesbian moms while visiting Vermont to learn how maple syrup is made.
This program sounds like a Saturday Night Live parody - that is, if Saturday Night Live were brave enough to parody Vermont lesbian moms teaching a fake rabbit to make syrup.

...only the latest chapter in a continuing saga at an education department that increasingly resembles an authoritarian government's ministry of information.
It is true that the Education Department should be abolished. Not because of its Orwellian power, but because of its socialist stupidity.

...payment of $240,000 in taxpayers' funds to Armstrong Williams, a talking head and columnist, to plug Bush administration policies on radio and TV.
Considering the "Hot Line" between the DNC and the owners and editors of the NYTimes I don't think anyone writing for this paper has any credibility in quetioning the pushing of one parties policies by a talking head. The Times is basically a propaganda arm for the the Democratic party and I'm sure they are payed hansomly for the unfailing support of the lost cause.

...the glaring reality that the most prominent Republican lesbians in America are Mary Cheney, a former gay and lesbian marketing liaison for Coors beer...
Mary Cheney is the gift that keeps on giving for Democrats like Rich, but the fact that she worked for Coors beer should fill him with fear & loathing. What's more conservative than Coors beer? Fox News?

But gay parents whose "lifestyle" is vilified by a cabinet officer don't have that power.
In the binary world of Frank Rich if you don't lionize the "lifestyle" of gay parents you must be vilifying them.


Isn't it Rich... Posted by Hello

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Wacko Jacko Back On Top

What can be said about a society that spends so much time on a "person" like Michael Jackson?
How can events of the past few days be eclipsed by so insignificant a "human being"?

I have an answer: There are people - perhaps a majority of "the people" that don't believe in democracy and freedom. They believe in royalty (celebrity) and fascism/socialism - they worship it. How else can you explain the ho-hum attitude about the historic election in Iraq? How can this monumental event that dominated the news broadcasts, opinion pages, two election cycles (including the Presidential election) and dinner table conversations in every home in the USA be dismissed? The election in Iraq is a great moment in human history and a vindication of the ideas that we Americans have promoted around the world since our founding. And yet...

And yet just two days after this historic victory for the concept of liberty and representative government all the papers and newscasts are focused on the "King of Pop". You see, it is the "King" that matters - not the democrats braving death threats - REAL death threats - to stuff their little ballots into a box with hopes of a better life. The Fascist/Socialists don't want you to contemplate the thrilling reality of citizens voting on their future - no, they want you to watch weepy sob stories about a pedaphile freak who dresses like a woman, talks like a child, bleaches his skin, sculpts his face and has not made a decent recording for 20 years.


The world is a sick place... Posted by Hello

Nuclear Fallout