Keeper of the Clown Bell

Yes. There are other people like Doug Schoen. Not a lot of them, but they do number in the thousands, and those people are RATs and DemocrATs fleeing a sinking ship - looking for some flotsam and jetsam to cling too and keep themselves out of the roiling sea and mighty waves that would drown them. It's over folks. And much of what's happened over the past few weeks makes a lot more sense now that the Democrats have thrown HRC under the bus (or 18-wheeler as Donna Brazile calls it ). The early voting started in ernest about two weeks ago and the returns started to trickle in and so by mid October the people with access to the results realized that Trump was winning, or at the very least he had a good chance of winning. Jesus! skew the poll results, get a full court media press on this guy and talk him down, down, down. Suppress the frigg'n Trump vote through any means possible and let's see how it looks on Halloween. So they pulled out the stops and laid it on thi

When this whole election is over and the blood has been mopped up someone is going to have to subpoena the early voting records from every state up to Oct. 27th and determine who was leading - especially in the battle ground states - My guess is that it's Donald J. Trump, The Elvis from Queens who will be far, far ahead in the tally. So far ahead that it would be easy to extrapolate a Trump victory on November 8th for anyone familiar with probability modeling and AI prognosticating . It is the only rational explanation for why the FBI would reopen its investigation of HRC and her criminal use of a private email server for government/private business. This thing stinks to high heaven and it shows a corrupt and vile justice department tampering with the electoral process. Plan B was initiated in March of 2015 and it only reaches fruition NOW!!! eleven days before the general election? No. No way it's going down like this people because... It's been obvious since the s

President Finn McMulligan's path to the presidency is a tight one, but it's real. The idea that this guy could become POTUS is absolutely wonderful and watching him get sworn in this January would give me great faith that our republic is still functioning as designed. If Nov. 8th comes and goes with no candidate winning the 270 Electoral College votes required the contest gets kicked to the House of Representatives but the twist is that, according to the Constitution, the House vote is One State = One Vote so that Utah's vote is just as important as California's vote. And these States, the majority of them being under GOP control,  have to vote for someone who won at least one electoral vote meaning Hitlery , The Elvis from Queens and McMulligan will be the only candidates elegibal to choose from. I know what you're saying:  Evan McMullin for President! (Wait, who?) The time has come for a new generation of American leadership and civic engagement . That m

There's a simple truth about male/female relations that reveals itself starkly in heated elections like the one we're living through right now. To a man's ear women complain a lot and it can be said that complaining is their fundamental secondary purpose - sex and childbirth being their primary. For a woman these complaints are not complaints at all but rather something called "communication" that a man needs to participate in if they want to be happy. This truth is well known to anyone who's married to a member of the opposite sex but let me illustrate through example: The other day my wife and I were watching a football game on TV and there was an incredible sideline pass reception at a critical point in the contest. Amazing display of athleticism and clutch concentration which is very gratifying to witness and is one of the reasons I still watch football even though the NFL is trying to destroy itself. My wife turns to me and says, "I can't belie

Down and to the Left The mean population center of the USA is Plato, Mo - not some place in Ohio (that was back in 1860) and as the dots have drifted leftward and down the character of our republic has changed. Just a little more leftward and 120 miles south and we'll end up in Hope, Ar - maybe we'll be there by 2020. Hope, he (Pindar) says, cherishes the soul of him who lives in justice and holiness and is the nurse of his age and the companion of his journey; --hope which is mightiest to sway the restless soul of man. How admirable are his words! And the great blessing of riches, I do not say to every man, but to a good man, is, that he has had no occasion to deceive or to defraud others, either intentionally or unintentionally; and when he departs to the world below he is not in any apprehension about offerings due to the gods or debts which he owes to men. Now to this peace of mind the possession of wealth greatly contributes; and therefore I say, that, setting one

Far be it for the KOTCB to take issue with anyone mocking Beyonce and her Formation video but it is hitleryarious that Amy Schumer should be kicked out of the "entertainment" world for doing so. What with the long list of transgressions against decency and taste this stupid video parody has launched the #AmySchumerGottaGoParty . Amazing how the world turns and how fine the line between Feminist Hero and Racist can be. "She’s been accused in the past for telling racist jokes, implying that black men are more sexually aggressive than others, and exploiting black women in her comedy. Some people (including Schumer herself) chalk up much of the criticism to internet call-out culture and political correctness. And though she’s seen as a feminist hero for many, the fact that the #AmySchumerGottaGoParty started trending at all is a huge indication that there’s still a large disconnect between Schumer and black women . Maybe in the future she’ll think of another, less tone

Coital alignment technique Here's how it went down on the Sunday Morning Talk Shows in their round table discussions: Meet the Press CHUCK TODD: Welcome back, panel is here. Stuart Stevens, first time joining us on the panel, was Mitt Romney's chief strategist in 2012, Yamiche Alcindor, national political reporter for The New York Times, Eliana Johnson, Washington Editor for the National Review, welcome to the table for the first time and Tom Friedman, columnist for The New York Times.  Fox New Sunday WALLACE:  Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump arguing at Wednesday's debate who has more valuable experience to be our next president. And it's time now for our Sunday group. GOP strategist Karl Rove, Fox News political analyst Juan Williams, bob Woodward of The Washington Post, and Kimberley Strassel from The Wall Street Journal. Face the Nation CBS News contributor Peggy Noonan of the Wall Street Journal, Jamelle Bouie of Slate Magazine, Jeffrey Goldber

Judging from the sheen on Van Jones's chocolate dome I'll have to take issue with CNN panel host AC360 and argue that polishing a turd IS technically possible and I'd like to do a little more of that right now. I know, I know, it's "horrifying" and calls into question Trump's respect for our time-tested institution of one-man-one-vote (i.e. democracy) when a candidate three weeks away from a highly contested election, which the national news media has already called "over" with insurmountable odds against said candidate,  is asked if he would accept the results of a rigged election said, “I will look at it at the time. I will keep you in suspense.” Media meltdown, but rather than linking and listing all the fools soiling their diaper and stomping around the playground flailing their arms and screaming let's just go to the paper of record for the Clampett campaign and get the talking point directly from Newingsoc: In a remarkable state

There is a natural temptation to judge Robert Creamer harshly what with the political violence and vote stealing he masterminds , but I want you to consider what life was like for a boy named Creamer in high school . With that name as your signature your political alignment is pretty much sealed from birth because your adolescent years are guaranteed to be a living nightmare. "Hey Creamer, where are your rubbers?" It would instill a vile hatred in anyone who had to suffer through it and the desire to lash out, to hurt the miserable jerks who creamed in their coffee and creamed their cheese and creamed in their pants every day for 4 years would be irresistible. Besides, this kind of political hatchet man is needed and they do some measure of good directing the misguided and whimsical dictates of Congress - in Creamer's case that would be his wife Rep. Jan Schakowsky (D) from Illinois's 9th congressional district. She's been there since 1998 and she'll probabl

I have, up until today, steered clear of the creepy clown craze that's terrorizing the nation. I know that sounds like a stupid thing for the Keeper of the Clown Bell blog to do, but I was honestly waiting to address the issue closer to Halloween. But today I learned that " Target pulls clown masks from shelves amid creepy clown threats " and I thought to myself, "is this the same Target that opened its bathrooms to transrubes who want to pee sitting down?" Why yes, yes it is. "We welcome transgender team members and guests to use the restroom or fitting room facility that corresponds with their gender identity," the retailer said. "Everyone deserves to feel like they belong." What is it about the word EVERYONE that these corporate nannies don't understand? Does the Evil Clown NOT belong in Target? How can the 300 pound transgender freak with painted face and ill fitting dress belong in the woman's bathroom but the cunning clown

Whad'ya know? He can almost tell the truth after all. Back in the early 90's (and over the ensuing decades) I've had many heated arguments with people over the character and leadership qualities of William Jefferson Blythe III. Though Bill never knew his biological father who drowned in a puddle of water after a mysterious car accident a few months after conception but a few month before birth (that awful period when a woman must decide weather she wants to bring the child into the world or have the fetes extracted from her belly) it is safe to say that the apple did not fall far from the tree. W.J.B.Jr. was a ramblin' man who in the course of his 36 years of life was able to marry 4 times (including sisters) and sire 3 children in various modes of domestic status. The fact that our 42nd president carried his name until the age of 16 is no small matter and the attempt at liberation he chose by adopting the name of his step-father did not alter the color of his

The timeline is just too good and I love the way MJ aggregated, collated and annotated the GOP sneak attack on their own presidential nominee. There must have been high fives and hosannas on Sutter Street over the weekend as Tweets and TV appearances flooded in showing a full scale abandonment of Trump by the Republican establishment. Very gratifying for the left and the best part of the whole thing was that their hands were clean - no one in Hitlery's camp had anything to do with the leaked "hot mic" video of Trump "locker-room talking" with Billy Bush. It was all an inside job pulled off and coordinated by "conservatives" who were never going to pull the lever for Trump and had timidly endorsed him with the sole purpose of dis-endorsing him when the time was right - the day before the second presidential debate. The Trump team knew they were going to get hit with this treasonous leak by the GOP establishment (they just didn't know when and i

Last week I visited the Albert and Shirley Collections Library at the University of Virginia for a one day seminar and viewing of the First Folio of Shakespeare which is making the rounds in the USA to commemorate the 400th anniversary of the thespians mortality. Dedicated readers for the KOTCB blog know that I am a committed Marlovian but I figured that questions of authorship would not detract from the focus of the seminar which was dedicated to the compilation and publishing of the text itself and incongruities between the Folio and pre-existing quatros published before 1623. The facts about the First Folio are well documented but even the simple stuff raises interesting questions, for instance, why is The Tempest the first play printed in the volume when it's the last play that Shakespeare wrote? I asked the professors, all of whom are Stratfordians, if they didn't find some significance in the order with which the plays were published in the folio? No, they didn'

Grab'n some Bush The Bush clan don't play it any different than the Clintons - Ask Mike Dukaka (Willy Horton) or John McCain (S.C primary) or John Kerry (Swift Boat). And I actually don't have a problem with that because politics if a tough business and if you get in the game you're going to get bloodied. And if you're taking on BOTH the Bush and Clinton crime syndicates you better expect to have both eyes cut by the 13th round of the fight - which is about where we are. Two more rings of the bell and we'll get a decision, unless someone can land a knockout blow and I know the challenger just took one to the kisser , but I don't see him on the mat yet. There are a couple of reasons why Trump is still standing and one of them is what he actually said: "When you're a star, they let you do it," Trump told Bush aboard a bus marked "Access Hollywood," the entertainment show Bush hosted before joining "Today" in May. &qu

Strolling down the supermarket isle last week I was pleased to see news that the SS Brangelina ran aground and survivors are dashing for the lifeboats while pointing accusatory fingers in all directions. I've had a soft spot for Angelina from my days on the UWS of Manhattan when she would whisk out (I never saw her whisk in) of our apartment buildings lobby after visiting her boy friend (a well known thespian) who lived on the 2nd floor. "Did you see that? Did you know who that was", my doorman would ask. "No, who was that?", I'd ask as only someone who couldn't care less about celebrity and honestly doesn't know can. "That's Angelina Jolie!", says the doorman - eyes wide and incredulous (I mean truly shocked) that I don't have the slightest clue or interest in the young woman's identity. "Who's that?", say I and it just goes down hill from there. Well, she moved on to bigger and better things than the earnest,

Sedition can take many forms and though the most forthright acts of treason are comprised of armed attacks like terror bombings ( see Bill Ayers ) there are other, more subtle, forms which act as psychological, rather than a physical, explosion. And so, when the UVA men's hoops team released a group photo of themselves kneeling for injustice and equality the other day I felt the full force of their psychic blast peal the skin from my face and felt the searing heat melt my eyeballs onto my charred skull which soon flaked away to expose my pulsating brain that throbbed in modulating rhythm with the LCD until it too exploded into a bazillion tiny atoms of mist. Direct hit - Wrong place, wrong time, wrong universe. How did we get here? Is it really all just Colin Kaepernick's fault ? I say NO, the problem runs much deeper than the athletes who, foolish though they might be, are just acting out. Kneel for Injustice. Kneel for Equality. ✊🏼 Using our platform to help creat cha

I'm gonna tell you the way it is And I'm not gonna be kind or easy Your whole attitude stinks, I say And the life you lead is completely empty You paint your head Your mind is dead You don't even know what I just said THAT'S YOU: AMERICAN WOMANHOOD! If I were in charge of Common Core there would be some serious changes to the current curriculum guidelines foisted upon Americas youth. One of my dictates would be that every child in 10th grade take a course on Media Manipulation and its impact on personal experience and society. A portion of this course would be dedicated to a two day symposium on the 1968 Mothers of Invention record titled " We're Only In It For The Money " and the subversive criticism it levels at plastic American culture (exemplified by the media). From the cover art to each and every vinyl groove this record is a masterpiece and requires a focused listening and contemplation of Zappa's perspective on the world - also, i