Keeper of the Clown Bell

Poor Jonny Football - he's playing pro football in the wrong century . There was a time when no one gave a damn what the QB did as long as he played well and lead the team to victory. Those days are gone, long gone . Tonights pre-game "analysis" had Steve Young's claim that NFL QB's must have the same dedication to his craft as a brain surgeon - the same focus and commitment - to which I say, who the hell would want to be a NFL QB if that's the measure? Easy for the progeny of Brigham Young to forswear hooch and whoring in favor of football neuroscience but what about the player that considers the night life a key element of his game. I mean seriously, why risk life and limb every Sunday sling'n the pig skin if not for the rewards of booze and broads that come along with it. I grew up a Sonny Jurgensen fan and his off the field exploits were as legendary as anything he did on the grid iron - the fact that he'd be out until daylight on a Saturday night,

Paris, France is having a tough November. First the Psycopathism and now the Tree Huggers are attempting to bring down the most civilized city on earth. Climate Change The Earth is composed of 4 distinct layers . The terra firma that humanity builds its cities upon, farms and navigates from sand to sea comprises just 1% of the earths volume. Its a thin crust floating atop a ball of liquid fire that keeps plants and animals warm and toasty.  Most of our earth is composed of molten rock churning around at a temperature of two thousand degrees Fahrenheit near the crust and getting much, much hotter at the center. This ball of lava has no effect on our climate claim the skeptics of the climate skeptics, but I simply can't believe that assertion. The heat emitted from the earths core and the radiation from the Sun are so much more powerful a force than man made mischief that blaming industry for global temperature variation seems insane to me. I'm not a climate change skep

The Pixies nailed this one almost 30 years ago: Well sit right down my evil son   And let me tell you a story   About the boy who fell from glory   And how he was a wicked son This ain't no holiday   But it always turns out this way   Here I am, with my hand Pilgrims Happy Thanksgiving from the White House : "Hi, everybody. In 1620, a small band of pilgrims came to this continent, refugees who had fled persecution and violence in their native land. Nearly 400 years later, we remember their part in the American story -- and we honor the men and women who helped them in their time of need." So begins one of the most pathetic Thanksgiving addresses ever delivered by a sitting President (or anyone). Starting with the informal "Hi, everybody" and ending with the concept of honoring the Indians for helping the Pilgrims in "their time of need" it's an exercise in failure and impotence. The rest of the chat doesn't get any bette

Safe in Waukesha Creating a "safe space" or "safe zone" is the new fad on college campuses all over America. Some people are very concerned about it, but I figure it will have about as much impact on national life as pole sitting, streaking or planking did - none.  "Safe spaces" are difficult to create and maintain, especially in "gun-free zones" which most college campuses are, and no school president or administrator is going to bloody their hands to establish them in a meaningful way. It's just a passing fancy that students who are dedicated to learning and intellectual exploration are going to have to put up with for a year or two and, once they graduate, remember with grim amusement once they're living and working in the un-safe world of reality. This years fad started in the magical land of Mizzou and quickly spread to those infamous copy-cat Ivy's . Now it's everywhere - including  Carroll University in Waukesha, WI wh

I found a This or That quiz from a decade ago and here are my results . Towards the bottom of the quiz the choice of John Kerry or W is presented - easy for me even after 10+ years to pull the GOP lever on that one. During the 2004 Presidential election I was living on Manhattans Upper West Side and I remember, with great clarity and relish, the morbid atmosphere that enveloped Columbus Ave on that first Tuesday in November and tarnished the civic spirit for days once the election results were tallied. For my part, I wore a cleaver little sherifs pin with the engraved words Bush 2004 on my lapel and rubbed it in the face of my neighbors for a good long time. The looks of disgust, horror and (sometimes) hatred I would receive from pedestrians walking to the subway, shoppers at Zabar's, music lovers at Lincoln Center and other self righteous lefties who make the UWS their home was... gratifying. I frigg'n loved every minute of it and while my apartment building was figuratively

Everyone's Private Driver When I sit on a park bench beneath the shade of a leaf filled tree and look off across the green grass filled with children playing and dogs romping under the blue, cloudless canapé and conjure up the image of a Mastermind in my minds eye Abdelhamid Abaaoud is NOT what I picture. But what do I know? This dude had been on the Homeland Security watchlist for months - they had even predicted the Paris attack and warned the French to be on the lookout. Still, this genius pulled it off in spectacular fashion surprising EVERYONE including his family who had no idea that monsieur Abaaoud was a radicalized jihadist. Totally shocked, really, just gobsmacked. Mohamed Abdeslam, brother of Salah Abdeslam who was an accomplice of The Mastermind explains it for the dense Western mini-mind: "My brother who participated in this terrorist act must have been psychologically ready to commit such an act. These are not regular people ," he said. "You can

Though the KOTCB Blog has many readers in America and around the world for which I am humbly surprised every time I check out my analytics reporting (and I'm happy that so many people around the world take time to check in on my postings) it is, from it's inception, a project with a target audience of 3 people + my children who are all school age and need the deprograming the KOTCB provides. Here's a sampling of txt msg banter from over the weekend by this blogs primary audience: Friday 6:51 PM EST Earlyman - I am voting for Donald Trump no matter what! Deport deport deport! Are you guys aware of the serious terrorist attacks all over Paris tonight!? Horrible!!! Lemonjello - France is always the first to fall. Deport! Mr. White Chocolate Chas T - It's horrible and France will take action Earlyman - Finally they must!! Lemonjello - This is the prize for being tolerant and accepting of those kind of folks Earlyman - Liberals. Lemonjello - I'd been hearing that

The Force is strong in this one. I'm watching a little Fox & Friends this morning on FNC while putting some cinnamon square cereal in a bowl for my four year old and taking a sip of coffee when I'm confronted with Lord Vader jamming blood red pabulum into the mouth of his son. "I am your father" - the shocking and revolting words uttered by Darth Vader, master of the Dark Side, to his idealistic son who he has just spent the better part of two feature length films trying to kill, who's hand he has severed with a light saber, who's hanging by a thread above the abyss. "If you only knew the power of the Dark Side... Join me... We'll rule the galaxy as father and son." And what does Luke Skywalker do when presented with this horrible truth? See for yourself: But this young tyke doesn't have just one psychotic, planet destroying, crypto-Nazsi dad - he's got 2! Imagine the horror and mental anguish he will experience when he fina

Because nothing says Christmas like PINK and ORANGE Dunkin’ Donuts wins and Starbucks looses  and like it or not Christmas is coming in a few weeks and there's nothing anyone can do to stop or start it. Just for the record, I love Christmas and think it's a great Holliday - and it is a Federal Holliday folks multi-cultural and pan-theologist as America is the entire country gets the day off on Christmas day. However, being a Federal Holliday I would also set strict parameters around when the "Christmas Season" could start and the start date would be December 21st - No X-mas music, not department store sales, no Holliday advertising, no Christmas TV shows or movies - basically no Christmas anything could be shown, heard or spoken until the Winter Solstice but then all heaven would be allowed to break loose. It would make the entire spectacle much more potent and meaningful by starting on the shortest day of the year and culminating 3 days later on the 25th of Decemb

I consider myself something of an extrordinary chili consumer and producer. In my time I've had some of the best chili the USA has to offer from Chili John's ( Green Bay and Burbank ) to  Skyline to Pat's Hubba Hubba to (yes) Ben's Chili Bowl - A DC institution. When Barack H. Obama talks about the contribution of Muslims to America's glorious fabric Ben's Chili Bowl is what he's talking about.  For a time I lived on T Street in NW Washington DC and became well aquatinted with the venerable home of Bill Cosby's Original Chili Half-Smoke . The chili is good (not really my favorite) but the half-smokes are fantastic and the combination is tops. Mr. Cosby has been a lifetime fan and loyal promoter of Ben's signature dish - so much so that it was eventually named in honor of the great entertainer and though I've eaten my share of Cosby Half-Smokes there are those who are even better acquainted with the sausage than I and bear witness : &qu

Bad day for gentle Ben, right? Politico put out a hit piece on the good doctor and, before posting the story, must have JournoListed all of their buddies at the TV New Networks and big foot newspapers so they could pile on and create a Wall of Sound that would make Phil Specter blush. Story, after story after story about how crazy, dishonest and unqualified Ben Carson is for the office of the Presidency. The greatest headline was from the inappropriately named "Plum Line" blog over at WaPo - get a load of this one: Ben Carson has weird ideas and makes stuff up. What kind of president would he be? Yeah, exactly, what kind of president indeed? Answer: probably a lot like the dude who's been president for the past 7 years who also has "weird ideas and makes stuff up" - he sure as hell couldn't be any worse. It is a joy - pure, absolute, unambiguous joy - to watch the Grand Poobah's of TV talk and fish wrap scribble flummoxed by Dr. Ben Carson.

Back in the spring of 2015 Jordan Hoffman compiled his list of the 100 Best Sci Fi Movies of All Time - I'm no aficionado on this subject so take my thoughts on science fiction with due skepticism but I do have a major problem with this list (2 problems in fact). The films he chose are, by and large, pretty good and with 100 you know there's going to be a few dogs that make the list (more than a few really) so I'm not going to get all "that's not Sci Fi" on the specific choices. From the 100 he listed I'd put the following in my top 10 10. 1984 9. The Fountain 8. Sleeper 7. A Clockwork Orange 6. Planet of the Apes 5. 4. Rollerball 3. 2001: A Space Odyssey 2. Metropolis 1. But this is where I must voice serious concern with the list of 100 sci fi films that does not include: #5 Dune - David Lynch's amazing attempt to bring an absolute classic to the screen - flawed though it might be, it's still inspiring and mind blowing. #1 Zardo

MEET THE PRESS - NOVEMBER 1, 2015 CHUCK TODD: This Sunday, a campaign in crisis. Slipping poll numbers, a staff shake up, and now a disastrous debate performance. Does Jeb Bush have what it takes to win the Republican nomination? JEB BUSH: I got a backbone, I got a heart, and I got a brain. And the Wizards are sending you home. Remember back in high school when you and your buddies were going off for a weekend of hiking or  duck hunting or missionary work or bong hits at the beach and the nerds from the school newspaper were having an editorial meeting on Saturday and you wondered to yourself, "what the hell do they do in those frigg'n meetings?" What do those guys talk about? What do they sound like? What's the matter with those guys? Well, here's your answer: When they "grow up" all those nerds become journalists working for big foot media companies and the practiced gab they mastered on those teen age weekends, while you were havin

It's November and that means... Baseball!!! Fortunately it's a balmy 60 degrees F in New York City tonight so the players aren't exactly freezing but it's still probably pretty chilly in center field. A series between the Mets, a mutant splicing of the Dodgers and the Giants who both left the big apple for West Coast gold, and the preposterously named KC Royals/Kings/Chiefs/SunshineBand is hard to accept. Watching this World Series is painful - classic Mets choke. My Bling Hurts I'd like to go back in time 101 years ago when Baseball was fun, unpredictable and CRAZY. I'm talking about the 1914 Virginia Mountain League and the best that D League baseball had to offer including the wonderfully named Staunton Lunatics. This was a simpler time (perhaps a more honest time) in American history - it was certainly a more insensitive time because the Lunatics were named after the infamous insane asylum located in their home town. The VML only lasted one year,