Keeper of the Clown Bell

  First Kiss Standing outside an Episcopal church in Middletown, RI this October I was approached by a TDS addled Senator (D-RI) who said, "I didn't expect to see you here." It's probably true, I don't live in Rhode Island and I haven't summered there for well over a decade but I did make the 8 hour drive up I-95 to attend a memorial service for our old friend who had passed away in the summer after a long illness. She died in Scotland, which is a place she loved, and was buried there but her American friends insisted on gathering to celebrate her life and spirt on Yankee soil. I responded to the Senator, "I wouldn't miss this, she was a very important person in my life" which was the truth and he grunted an affirmation then pressed on to glad-hand his constituents. The recently deceased was best friend to his wife so maybe he had heard second hand stories or idle gossip about my past associations and intertwining history with the lady being eulo...

It was a lazy, hot July afternoon and I'm lounging with my son in the man cave watching the FIFA Club World Cup final at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey just shocked by the way Chelsea is dominating PSG. Not what we expected but... I can't say we were feeling bad about the halftime score as we discussed first half plays and various strategies for the second half while ignoring Doja Cat and other misfits perform satanic rituals during the   "Global Citizen" halftime show . Just another sportsball diversion with the usual fake enthusiasm and cultural wasteland pomp we've all grown accustomed to when, to our surprise, a diminutive and deformed   Emmanuel Kelly took to the stage and busted out the opening lines of Coldplay's kindergarten carol “A Sky Full of Stars.” Laughter filled the room at the site of this Iraqi troll, deformed by chemical warfare and abandoned in a box, now temporarily fronting an English pop band at an international spectacle seen by millions....

Driving down Commonwealth Ave. in my '79 Caprice Classic while listening to late night alt-rock on WERS 88.9 FM broadcasting from Emerson College and spinning tunes from Mission of Burma, O Positive and Christmas into the aether via electromagnetic radiation. The brown 4 door sedan was affectionately named "the mud shark" at that time (1986) - later, after a Trompe L'oeil Marbling by my sister it would be called "the slab" - and it drifted atop the bumpy Back Bay streets as a reckless predator searching for a parking spot. The DJ was jabbering between songs about new music, upcoming shows and whatnot before wrapping with the admonition, "If these guys ever come to town be sure and find yourself ticket because their drummer Roland is amazing" and then he put the needle down on  Big Black's "Bazooka Joe." Steve Albini starts barking about some guy named Joe, Roland (the drum machine) jumps in with an uptempo beat and after a good long w...

In the Techno-Fascist Imperium the "Holidays" festivities start on Columbus Day, when the Halloween candy pops up, and end New Years Day with college football Bowl games, black-eyed peas and collard greens. To be clear, the Imperium doesn't celebrate Columbus Day, au contraire, the Indigenous Peoples' Day psyop has been pushed hard by the IC for the past 50 years of failure but the candy... THE CANDY. This year's IPD got turned up to eleven when the colonizers of America's 51st state got kidnapped, raped and murdered by some indigenous maniacs on Sukkot 10/7 and, as a result, soured the festive '23 Holiday mood. Hey, we soldiered on, as it were, and kept on celebrating while the world burned: Halloween - Big for children and weirdos. Thanksgiving - Focus on God, country and family. Hannukkah - Jewish assimilation. Xmas - Santa Claus and gifts. Kwanzaa - Black Lives Matter. I'd call them Happy Holidays if it wasn't  a neo-Nazi dog whistle  to vocal...

My grandmother loved the cinema and in my  adolescence she took me to lots of movies, none of which were G rated pablum served up from Disney or other “child friendly” brain washers but rather adult themed pictures like The Anderson Tapes (1971),  What's Up, Doc? (1972),  The Day of the Jackal (1973)  and Freebee And The Bean (1974). Needless to say, none of the films I just listed could get made under today’s DEI requirements. She loved the magic on the silver screen and taught me to appreciate the wonders rendered on the wall of Plato’s cave. Watching these films as a tween changed my perception of the world and their programming  probably still colors my fundamental views on  cops and robbers ,  transvestites ,  France  and  Babs Streisand . I didn’t know it then but this era was the glory years of independent minded studio backed pictures which came to an abrupt and devastating end with the release of  Star Wars  in 1977. I...

I’ve got a 12 year old son who grew up with an iPad in his hands and, as a member of the Minecraft Generation,  developed a preference for rap music, European Club Soccer and Andrew Tate. He’s convinced that the FBI killed Juice WRLD, knows the FIFA talent rankings of obscure foreign football players (“use the English words”) and quotes Tate's philosophy - “Gods biggest mistake, aside from creating flies, is allowing the gay mindset.” Watching all this Euro football gave him the notion to learn the french language so he downloaded an app and started parler en français. He's already planning next summer’s European vacation while listening to Kid Cudi's "Pursuit of Happiness" and, wether I like it or not, he's a citizen of the world.  I'm not going to call him un-American but he doesn't watch baseball and he won't eat hot dogs - " have you ever seen how those things are made? " - because of what he's seen on his screen. During my boyhoo...