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The Carousel

When comparing Washington D.C. and New York, NY nothing throws the two cities in such stark relief as their respective green spaces and appending cultural institutions and amusements. In D.C there is the National Mall with its flat formal grid and broad sandy walkway and in NYC there is Central Parks wild and treacherous pathways winding through the woods and rock - Flat and bland vs. wild and woolly. It's not just the terrain that sets to two cities apart but also the quality and majesty of their museums, performing arts centers, monuments and frivolities. It's not an exact science and there is not necessarily a 1 to 1 match for every edifice but there's enough to make my point which I will get to directly.

NYC vs. DC
DC vs NYC Scoring:
  • Obelisk goes to DC because it's just bigger and badder than any other obelisk in the world
  • Natural History Museum is better in NYC - by a mile and that's not because DC's is bad, but the house that Teddy built has it all. Bigger, better, more stuffed animals, and a better layout.
  • Castle is better in NYC and much more romantic if less utilitarian.
  • The Met is better than the National Gallery with a better layout and better collection.
And I could go on comparing statues and bodies of water (including ice skating rinks) all the way down to the joggers trudging the well beaten paths in these two locations but I really needn't compile an exhaustive list as evidence because there is one delectation that stands above all others as a vibrant example of what separates the two cities at their primal nature and reflected operating modalities. I'm talking about each cities merry-go-round.

Look right behind the hijab
In Washington DC the spinning circle carrying pastel horses sits on the National Mall in front of the Smithsonian Castle covered with a blue and yellow canopy but otherwise open to the elements.  Buy your ticket and take a pleasant spin to melodious grinder music like all the other monkeys. "The carousel continues to bring laughter and joy to those who ride it today, many of whom may not know of its place in history, but enjoy it nonetheless." The same could be said of the US Federal Government and its oblivious passengers - it is especially true of the DC media flacks who spin around and around the swamp looking for tasty morsel of scandal to feast upon like vultures in search of carrion.

Now let's travel to New York and recount a stroll I enjoyed with my beautiful daughters, age 4 and 6 at the time, passing over the Sheep Meadow and up a small knoll to the Central Park Carousel and the red brick bomb shelter that houses it.  This thing is big, powerful, loud and fun. When I hopped on a horse with my little ones I was expecting a pleasant pastel ride like the ones I might experience at a carny or family fun park (or on the National Mall) with smiles and laughter from the children and doting mirth from the father - but that ain't the way they do it in NY, NY. The operator winds his way through the horses and makes sure everyone is "on-board" and holding tight then stands in front of the controls, locks himself in, blows a whistle and flips the switch. There is a solid jolt to start the ride and by the time your horse has made it's first 360 degree revolution the terror-go-round is flying at a speed you can't believe is still legal in America. The children are in shock and holding on for dear life and frankly, so is the father while spinning at what must be 30 mph for 5 minutes. If you're used to the wimpy ride in D.C. the NYC ride will freak you out.

TRUMP: Ask -- ask Jeff Zucker how he got his job. OK?

Jeff Zucker's World
That's what happened yesterday when the denizens of Washington D.C. gathered for their appointed ride on the presidential merry-go-round expecting the ClintonBushObama soft pump whirligig and got jolted with some NYC Master of the Universe Trump Trumping. It was wonderful to behold the Elvis from Queens control the room, telling them to be quiet and wait their turn, hold on tight while he spun the room until they were so dizzy and confused they had to beg him to stop. "The person (Trump) is not living in the world in which we live". said Jake Tapper of CNN as though he didn't hear the direct question the president posed to Jim Acosta - "ask Jeff Zucker how he got his job. OK?" That question relates DIRECTLY to Jake Tapper's world and every reporter in the room knew it and wished it had never been asked because the answer to that question can only be answered from the middle of the George Washington Bridge. "Your indignation is duly noted" Mr. Tapper but in 2013 the powers that be appointed Jeff Zucker to run your "news network" and boost it's ratings. Zucker is NOT a newsman and does not come from any news organization - He's from programming and entertainment. He's the guy who signed Donald Trump to star in "The Apprentice". He created the TV show "Friends" for Christ's sake! DJT is living smack dab in the middle of Jake Tapper's world and he's stepping out from behind the desk to make sure Tapper and all the DC news readers know it. Hold on tight boys and girls.


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