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ax-wielding clown

Jimmy Dan Ray and I don't care
Just another Friday night in Hickory, NC where an ax-wielding clown attacked a woman in front of her house at 4:32 a.m. No one was hurt in the attack, but the victim was able to get up close and personal with the rainbow wigged perp and take a look under the mask and identify him as an acquaintance. Now the Ax Clown is on the run and the local PD will have to prioritize because Catawba County has it's fair share of most wanted clowns out and about in the land.

Here's a word of advise from the KOTCB - if you find yourself looking out the window at 4AM on a Friday morning and see a clown holding an ax in your front yard DO NOT establish contact with said clown. Lock the doors, get out your gun (if you have one) and call the police immediately. A clown is different from you and me (oh really, are they really so different?) and when armed they are extremely dangerous.

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