Yankee post-election analysis

Received this today. Whoever said the northeastern liberal elite were mealy-mouthed?

>Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted
>to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay
>part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves -
>yeah, those are states we want to keep.
>And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal
>Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The
>Authentic America. Really?
>Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers
>you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think
>they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your
>assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to
>read thefirst half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those
>wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking
>blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think
>there might be a reason allthe fucking monuments are up here in our
>No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell
>and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American
>selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you
>think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking
>blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their
>fucking Subarustogether and broken off from New York a little earlier.
>Get it? We started thisshit, so don't get all uppity about how real you
>are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a
>hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.
>Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking
>arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I
>don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means
>to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't
>paying for your fuckingbridges, bitch.
>All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes
>to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority
>electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time
>Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want
>to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish
>keep it, it¹s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking
>orange juice.
>The next dickwad who says, "It¹s your money, not the government's
>money"is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get
>the mostfederal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go
>on, guess. That¹s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of
>the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It¹s too easy,
>asshole, they¹reblue states. It¹s not your money, assholes, it¹s
>fucking our money. What wasthat Real American Value you were spouting a
>minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own
>fucking stop signs, assholes.
>Let¹s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your
>Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values
>over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which
>state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping
>dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It¹s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking
>center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that¹s right, the state you
>love to tie aroundthe neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has
>the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that¹s just some
>aberration? How about this: 9of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking
>blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values
>suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking
>guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral
>states. And while Nevada is the worst, the BibleBelt is doing its
>fucking part.
>But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you?
>Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little
>bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you
>do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at
>election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday
>morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority.
>Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't
>talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning,
>hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too
>busy erecting giant stone tabletsof the Ten Commandments in buildings
>paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the
>highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North,
>Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing,
>federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou,
>hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.
>And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time.
>Fuck off.


ChasMath said…
"Secession constitutes a repudiation of republican government as understood by the Founders....When the States ratified the Constitution of 1787, they pledged that they would accept the results of elections conducted according to its rules. In violation of this pledge, the Southern States seceded because they did not like the outcome of the election of 1860. Thus secession is the interruption of the constitutional operation of republican government, substituting the rule of the minority for that of the majority."
Mackubin Thomas Owens "The Case Against Secession"
nchapin said…
Nobody's talking secession here, just "fuck 'em."
ChasMath said…
So it's like a psychological secession? No, I'm afraid the blue homies are going to have to atone with the red zeitgeist.
And you're wrong - They are talking about secession(at least on the Upper West Side of Manhattan), but they can't figure out how to accomplish it having given up their guns and embraced homosexuality.

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