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(D)irty Old Men

Smells (D)irty

Back in the Bush 41 years I had a female friend (easy on the eyes) who worked the Senate floor managing the stagecraft and overseeing teenage Pages who fetch glasses of milk for the senior citizens who occupy the World’s Greatest Deliberative Body. How shall I say this? I’d like to tell a tale without incriminating the young lady who imparted the juicy anecdote that kicks off the narrative of this blog post. She told me her story in confidence and, as far as I know, I’m the only person other than her and the US Senator who stuck his tongue down her throat in room off the Senate floor to know about it. Oh well, fuck it, it happened a long time ago and snoops will have to do some serious digging to connect all the dots. She was the daughter of some big time industrialist who, I guess, thought he was doing his daughter a solid and called in a favor to get her thrown into the vipers pit of the United States Senate. Thanks Dad!

In those days (1988-1992), I was a young buck loitering around Washington DC party scene and, in addition to locking horns with Lothario's of my own generation, found myself scratching it out with US Senators who were constantly charging in to the heard and carrying off a voluptuous doe to their Georgetown bachelor pad. It was my bad luck to have several high profile (D) Senators from Northeast Blue States unmarried and ravenous for 20ish year old pussy trolling around my circle and, because they were Senators, banging the lovely women. I'm sure you'd like me to tell tales on these public figures but it wouldn't be right - several of them remarried, some were relatives of my personal friends or shagged enamored girls I like and respect admire, some of these middle aged bulls even ran for President years later - so I'm not going to hang out their dirty laundry. What's done is done and, hey, like I said, these dudes were not married and, BTW, the married ones didn't behave any better and, in fact, the story about my friend getting molested just off the Senate floor came courtesy of the "loving embrace" of a married man. To be fair, he was "in the process" of getting a divorce from his long suffering wife (aren't they all) but still... come on, this chick was his daughters age. (D)irty old men and (R)epressed homosexuals comprise the Confederacy of Blackguards who occupy Capitol Hill and that goes for State Capitols too.

My young lady friend was nonplussed by the sexual assault that had been forced upon her by a sober and highly respected Senator (who happened to be in leadership... I know, I know, I'm skating on late spring Maine ice here but I'm still not going to name any names) and didn't know where to go, who to tell, how to report it and so on. How do you confront or report a Senator who is totally protected by the institution of The Senate, the Democratic Party, the mainstream news media and the Intelligence Community? Who will listen? Who could even punish him? His fellow Senators? Bwahaha!

Nice Curves

In My Mind
When men (or women) attain this Senatorial level of power their sense of entitlement twists into something strange - sometimes evil - and impervious to punishment unless, or until, they really, really, really screw the pooch (I mean that figuratively, symbolically and literally) at which point the "sexual predator" is given the hook and pulled from the public stage. This was the sorry fate of Garry Hart, Bob Packwood and John Edwards who all fell from their golden chariot and drowned in dirty DC Swamp water while their fellow Senators rolled on DOING EXACTLY THE SAME THINGS THESE SEXUAL PREDATORS DID. And it is in that same spirit of excruciating human injustice and hypocrisy that I say, "goodnight sweet prince Andrew Cuomo and may angels carry you home to wherever it is you live" because yesterday “the little sfaccimm” announced his resignation as New York Governor. Unbelievable and inconceivable to anyone who knows 1. the Cuomo's 2. New York Politics and 3. the shit these people get away with. So what dog did Governor nipple rings screw to bring on his political destruction? Answer: we will never fully know the truth but here is one version straight from the Neanderthal's pie hole.

"I have been too familiar with people. My sense of humor can be insensitive and off-putting. I do hug and kiss people casually, women and men. I have done it all my life. In my mind, I've never crossed the line with anyone but I didn't realize the extent to which the line has been redrawn."
Gov. Andrew Cuomo August 10, 2020

Kerry Kennedy-Cuomo probably knows some of the reason. Senator Kirsten Gillibrand probably knows another part of the reason. Her Highness, Hitlery Clampett, probably knows even more of the reason. Girls talk and "the line" might go unchanged for decades while the offensive public servant is doing his thing (hugging and kissing people casually) but eventually a brave beauty like Executive Assistant #1 will pick up the chalk and start redrawing. If the "sex predator" in power has somehow fallen from grace with the oligarchs or can be sacrificed for the greater good of The Party then an army of sisters will step forward from the shadows and add their own sob story to the newly drawn line and eventually you'll get a Clown World document like the report worked up by NY State Attorney General Letitia James detailing the politicians sex crimes. This "investigation into allegations of sexual harassment by Governor Andrew M. Cuomo" is legitimately one of the funniest things I've read in a long time and it gives real insight into Cuomo the man but also the cast of characters that populate our various governments. For example, I pulled this testimony from the executive summary but it serves as a good slice from the whole.

"State Entity Employee #1. In September 2019, the Governor attended an event in New York City sponsored by a New York State-affiliated entity. Following a speech by the Governor, he posed for pictures with other attendees, including with an employee of that State-affiliated entity (“State Entity Employee #1”), who was a woman. While the picture was being taken, the Governor put his hand on State Entity Employee #1’s butt, tapped it twice, and then grabbed her butt. State Entity Employee #1 was “shocked” at the time, and discussed it with a number of friends, family, and co-workers. Following the advice of a friend, she also contemporaneously memorialized the Governor’s inappropriate touching."

Tears of mirth dear reader - "State Entity Employee #1", "State-affiliated entity", "tapped it twice", "shocked" - the report is filled with stories like this of a goomba who, through nepotism and sheer boorishness, finds himself Governor of America's most powerful and storied State. I'm telling you, there is a great movie contained in this report if anyone had the courage to film it straight as the black comedy it is - but no one does so you'll just have to imagine it yourself.

Still, all humor and human suffering aside, one must confront the question of why. Why now? Why Cuomo? And that question inevitably leads me to one answer - Tara Reade. This woman has credibly accused Joe Biden of sexual assault when she was working as a member of his Senate staff in 1993 which is about the same time I was jousting with these licentious Senators at M Street bars, country clubs and swank NW DC garden parties. Do I think Tara Reade is telling the truth? Abso-fucking-lutely! And the DC establishment needs to figure out a way to get Jo(((k)))e Biden to leave the White House before he gets carried out in a straight jacket or pine box so I wouldn't be surprised to see this beautiful woman reclaim the limelight chalk in hand. Lines are being redrawn everywhere these days and drug addled (D)irty old men with dementia can easily step over one when the time is right.


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