Skip to main content

Just a cheese-dog in Margaritaville

30 years ago I was strolling down Chestnut St. in San Francisco with a friend and we past one of Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville restaurants which was packed with Parrothead's eating and drinking and doing whatever it is that Parrothead's do. My buddy quipped that in a just world the song "Margaritaville" should play in an infinite loop inside the bar from opening to last call with no escape or diversion for the pasty patrons who spend good money to eat and drink (especially drink) at a prefab fantasy establishment created by Margaritaville Holdings LLC (a subsidiary of Cheeseburger Holding Company, LLC) based in Orlando, FL. If you've ever been in one of these places you'll know exactly what he was getting at because they are a physical manifestation of Jimmy Buffet and, more to the point of this blog post, America's flaccid penis - especially the STD's dripping off the end and moving ever so slowly toward Cuba. "Wasted away again..." and selling a lifestyle brand to mobs of people who not only listen to his insufferable music (and know all the words) but buy into the fake 20th century pirate ethos he's been selling in South Florida for the past 50 years while building a mega hospitality empire that's so garish it shocks the senses and mocks any notion of taste. But that's just my opinion so let's go to the Internet and listen to the voice of the people and see what they have to say about the Son of a Sailor.


So I'm not alone, but the only reason I'm writing about him is this headline: "Jimmy Buffett to perform free concert for candidates Andrew Gillum and Bill Nelson" which screams "help me" and does not instill confidence for Democrats in Florida.

Gillum hopes an hour or so of oldies like “Margaritaville” and “Fins” will provide enough “Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes” to propel him to victory over Republican Ron DeSantis in the Nov. 6 midterms. Or, at the very least, to help “energize Democrats and Parrot Heads across the state,” his post read.

If A. Gillum has to roust Jimmy Buffett from his Palm Beach hammock to put on his flip-flops and drive across the bridge into West Palm to excite the geriatric Parrotheads into shuffling down to the polling station and pulling the lever for a (D) - any (D)! - then he's losing and he knows it. Don't believe the hype on TV News or the latest public polling because this is not the last minute play of a confident candidate. For a committed "Progressive" like Gillum to be yoking himself to a multi-millionaire like Buffet presents the same conflict that afflicted the Broadway production of "Escape to Margeritaville" - Inauthenticity as chronicled in the pages of the NYTimes earlier this year: Jimmy Buffett Does Not Live the Jimmy Buffett Lifestyle.

Because that, in a coconut shell, was the problem. Jimmy Buffett is not really Jimmy Buffett anymore. He hasn’t been for a while. Jimmy Buffett — the nibbling on sponge cake, watching the sun bake, getting drunk and screwing, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere Jimmy Buffett — has been replaced with a well-preserved businessman who is leveraging the Jimmy Buffett of yore in order to keep the Jimmy Buffett of now in the manner to which the old Jimmy Buffett never dreamed he could become accustomed. And therein lies the Margaritaville® Mesquite BBQ Rub: The more successful you become at selling the Jimmy Buffett lifestyle, the less you are seen as believably living the Jimmy Buffett lifestyle.

It's all a big fat cheeseburger in paradise lie. That's the problem with all these pseudo-Socialist candidates the Dems are foisting on the electorate and it goes back to Obama who for all his talk and suspect associations was just looking out for the Jimmy Buffett's of this world and making their life better at the expense of everyone else. They're not authentic - it's all a con and the American people know it. "I believe... but" are the words of an disillusioned agnostic who's going down.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Real Story with Gretchen Carlson

She was "sexy", but "too much hard work."

I'm a regular Fox & Friends viewer (mostly in protest of the other insipid morning programs like Today and Good Morning America) so over the years I've gotten to know Gretchen Carlson pretty well. Stuck between Steve and Brian she always seemed a prudish scold with an irritating, self-righteous demeanor that I simply put up with because I figured some people in the Fox audience actually liked her persona. It was obvious that Steve and Brian did not, but they were stuck with her like so many talking heads and had to make the best of it - which they did. Besides, she was no worse than any of the other women on morning show TV - I mean, you're only going to find a certain kind of person to do this kind of work and that kind of person is the Gretchen Carlson kind. Then, one day, she was gone and replaced by Elisabeth Hasselbeck and the F&F ratings began to climb, and climb and climb - in two months viewershi…

The Democracy Quirk

Let it be said that Politico is one of the most worthless web sites with clout on the internet - it's like the Washington Post after a night of hard drinking in the Georgetown bars that passed out on a friends couch. Predictable and stupid at the same time - Also, the editors appear to despise democracy as a political science and as practiced here in the USA. Their latest "explanation" for the Trump phenomenon takes aim at the voters and their knowing ignorance which can be easily explained by the Dunning-Kruger Effect. The article written by shrink/educator David Dunning illuminates a big, glaring problem in any democracy, and that is, "we all run the risk of being too ill-informed to notice when our own favored candidates or national leaders make catastrophic misjudgments." Shit, now you tell us, for surely this is not a problem unique to 2016 and probably was in effect in 2000 and 1980 and 1968 and so on...
But as a psychologist who has studied human behavi…

Running Fence 2

You probably know that the Congress (specifically the Senate) and the POTUS are at loggerheads over Federal funding for the Big Beautiful Wall to be built along the US southern boarder. The reasons for this impasse are long and complex so a quick review of how we got here might be in order.

The Elvis from Queens glided down the escalator at Trump Tower (corner of 57th & 5th) and declared to America and the World that he intended to build A Great Wall across the southern boarder when he became POTUS because this alternate speech was never going to happen (KOTCB Alternate Universe 06/15/2015)A few weeks later candidate Trump was presented with a big fat brick of pain and suffering that served as the cornerstone of his campaign (KOTCB Dirty Sanchez)The physical Wall served as a curative slap in the face of the DC establishment who had, over the years, constructed an elaborate Folly Wall in place of the real thing (KOTCB Decius drops the mic)The idea of the Big Beautiful Wall began to…