Uncle Sam's Erect Penis

Almost two weeks and the powers that be still can’t bring themselves to declare Michigan for DJT. In almost every election for the past 30 years the nation has turned it’s eyes to Americas flaccid penis left impotent and ashamed from erectile disfunction that no amount of Viagra or Cialis could fill with blood and rage - being old and hot and diseased at its tip with tiny STD’s dripping into the Gulf of Mexico. Not this year. This year the USA got a hard-on and mighty Michigan roared to life like a master of the universe billionaire looking at a Slovenian supermodel spread eagle on his gold leaf encrusted pleasure pad. They’re afraid and they don’t want the coddled and sensitive international community to see the raging boner bulging in Uncle Sam’s pants, but it’s there and someone’s gonna get fucked. If I were ISIS, Mexican Drug Cartels or Black Lives Matter I’d be running for my hidey hole right about now because to The Elvis from Queens they all look like a pussy he’d like to grab.

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