Skip to main content

The Closer

When you get into the 8th and 9th innings it's time to bring in your closer. I lived in NYC during the first decade of this century and was privileged to witness many NY Yankees games where one of the greatest closers in baseball history, Mariano Rivera, mercilessly and methodically suffocated the hopes and dreams of countless competitors. It was a thing of beauty to watch him wind up and launch a complex freak out pitch - the white orb sinking and swerving and dropping right over the plate. Steeerike! Not every closer is as gracefully lethal as Mariano - actually, almost nobody is. Aroldis Chapman sure isn't. And when you're closer gets rattled it's pretty important to pull him from the mound before he blows it.

Right now, when she needs it most (and boy does she need it) HRC has called her closer up from the bull pin (otherwise known as the White House, location of the Oval Office, work space of the most powerful person on earth, who must have a lot on his mind these days - though you'd never know it). He's trying to close out the game, but even though he appears to have not a care in the world, his performance shows that he's a little rattled.

First pitch: an appearance on the provocatively titled "Full Frontal With Samantha Bee" where he gave his prognostication of Hitlery's future presidency - "She’s tired, she’s moody, she’s being emotional," Obama guessed. Nice.


Second Pitch: Columbus, Ohio, at a Clinton campaign event where he said, “You know, there’s a reason we haven’t had a woman president before.” Wow. He must be talking to guys like TI.

Third Pitch: An interview with NowThis News where he attacks the FBI - “We don’t operate on incomplete information. We don’t operate on leaks. We operate based on concrete decisions that are made.”  Caaaarack!!! The ball flies high and hard down the third base line and it's a home run for the challengers.

  • We don't operate on incomplete information? You mean like Obamacare? Or maybe you're talking about the Iranian nuke deal? Where are the 33K emails?
  • We don't operate on leaks? You mean we can ignore the Billy Bush "hot mic" tape? We can ignore Trumps tax returns?
  • We operate on concrete decisions that are made - like when the FBI decides to reopen a case. That's a concrete decision and Hillary is going to get buried in that concrete - it's already solidifying to the point where she can hardly walk.

The closer better pull himself together or we're going to extra innings and who know what will happen if we do that?



Comments

Lincoln got the house, but then he got a bullit in the brain.

Popular posts from this blog

The Real Story with Gretchen Carlson

She was "sexy", but "too much hard work." I'm a regular Fox & Friends viewer (mostly in protest of the other insipid morning programs like Today and Good Morning America) so over the years I've gotten to know Gretchen Carlson pretty well. Stuck between Steve and Brian she always seemed a prudish scold with an irritating, self-righteous demeanor that I simply put up with because I figured some people in the Fox audience actually liked her persona. It was obvious that Steve and Brian did not, but they were stuck with her like so many talking heads and had to make the best of it - which they did. Besides, she was no worse than any of the other women on morning show TV - I mean, you're only going to find a certain kind of person to do this kind of work and that kind of person is the Gretchen Carlson kind. Then, one day, she was gone and replaced by Elisabeth Hasselbeck and the F&F ratings began to climb, and climb and climb - in two months view...

The Pop-Tarts Bowl: Frauds v. Fakers

In the Techno-Fascist Imperium the "Holidays" festivities start on Columbus Day, when the Halloween candy pops up, and end New Years Day with college football Bowl games, black-eyed peas and collard greens. To be clear, the Imperium doesn't celebrate Columbus Day, au contraire, the Indigenous Peoples' Day psyop has been pushed hard by the IC for the past 50 years of failure but the candy... THE CANDY. This year's IPD got turned up to eleven when the colonizers of America's 51st state got kidnapped, raped and murdered by some indigenous maniacs on Sukkot 10/7 and, as a result, soured the festive '23 Holiday mood. Hey, we soldiered on, as it were, and kept on celebrating while the world burned: Halloween - Big for children and weirdos. Thanksgiving - Focus on God, country and family. Hannukkah - Jewish assimilation. Xmas - Santa Claus and gifts. Kwanzaa - Black Lives Matter. I'd call them Happy Holidays if it wasn't  a neo-Nazi dog whistle  to vocal...

Summer of the Jackals

In the spring of 2021 I had a near death experience when my Chevy Silverado loaded with 30 cases of wine was rear-ended at 50mph  by a young lady who was texting-while-driving at 9:30 AM. Her Mercedes sedan flashed in my driver side mirror a moment before impact and that microsecond of awareness gave me just enough time to pull my foot off the break and jam the gas so when she plowed into my trailer hitch the impact met no resistance and launched my truck across the road and into the woods. I had stopped in the road, left blinker signaling, waiting for an oncoming pickup truck to pass and, by the grace of God, it did pass me just as the distracted driver in the mirror slammed into my flashing taillight. Everyone walked away from the crash with no serious injury but if the impact had transpired 2 seconds earlier it would have been a “Road Warrior” bloodbath of terror and death. When I stepped out of my vehicle and looked through the roadside trees I had miraculously missed hitting i...