Isn't it rich? The Keeper of the Clown Bell is a semi-secret society dedicated to exposing the clowns in our midst. Ring Loud, Ring Often!
Search This Blog
Queen Buzzkill
As anyone who takes the trouble to look up the numbers can tell you, 80% of all alcohol sales are generated by about 20% of the population and that's a generous fudging of the numbers because 10% of that 20% are pikers. The real money comes from the 10% and in America those guzzling guys and gals drink Bud - about $10B worth of suds per year. So it comes as a surprise that the King of Beers would hire the Queen of England (or at least, her proxy) to lecture the freeborn American citizen about drinking, driving or anything else in the middle of a secular national Holliday but that's exactly what they did during last nights Super Bowl. It's downright un-American to watch this English prig bitch out the US beer lovers who might enjoy roaring down a dirty back road with a cold one in hand and a case of Bud on ice in the back seat. Piss off Queenie - stroll on down to the Pig & Whistle and drink a pint of warm ale with your bangers and mash and think about your tiny autos that drink $10 per gallon petrol. This is the USA and we'll drive drunk until we get caught and then we'll do it again.
Alternate Ad Copy: "Now that the 3rd quarter of today's Super Bowl is coming to a close you, our honorable and loyal customer, are probably well into your second six-pack of brew and planning to quaff much more of our golden elixir before the night is through. The Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of InBev, would like to thank you for your patronage and remind you that fighting, driving or falling down drunk will not change the outcome of the game. So don't throw that punch, don't grab the car keys and don't over do it - laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone. Bottoms up (glug, glug,glug...)".
She was "sexy", but "too much hard work." I'm a regular Fox & Friends viewer (mostly in protest of the other insipid morning programs like Today and Good Morning America) so over the years I've gotten to know Gretchen Carlson pretty well. Stuck between Steve and Brian she always seemed a prudish scold with an irritating, self-righteous demeanor that I simply put up with because I figured some people in the Fox audience actually liked her persona. It was obvious that Steve and Brian did not, but they were stuck with her like so many talking heads and had to make the best of it - which they did. Besides, she was no worse than any of the other women on morning show TV - I mean, you're only going to find a certain kind of person to do this kind of work and that kind of person is the Gretchen Carlson kind. Then, one day, she was gone and replaced by Elisabeth Hasselbeck and the F&F ratings began to climb, and climb and climb - in two months view...
In the Techno-Fascist Imperium the "Holidays" festivities start on Columbus Day, when the Halloween candy pops up, and end New Years Day with college football Bowl games, black-eyed peas and collard greens. To be clear, the Imperium doesn't celebrate Columbus Day, au contraire, the Indigenous Peoples' Day psyop has been pushed hard by the IC for the past 50 years of failure but the candy... THE CANDY. This year's IPD got turned up to eleven when the colonizers of America's 51st state got kidnapped, raped and murdered by some indigenous maniacs on Sukkot 10/7 and, as a result, soured the festive '23 Holiday mood. Hey, we soldiered on, as it were, and kept on celebrating while the world burned: Halloween - Big for children and weirdos. Thanksgiving - Focus on God, country and family. Hannukkah - Jewish assimilation. Xmas - Santa Claus and gifts. Kwanzaa - Black Lives Matter. I'd call them Happy Holidays if it wasn't a neo-Nazi dog whistle to vocal...
In the spring of 2021 I had a near death experience when my Chevy Silverado loaded with 30 cases of wine was rear-ended at 50mph by a young lady who was texting-while-driving at 9:30 AM. Her Mercedes sedan flashed in my driver side mirror a moment before impact and that microsecond of awareness gave me just enough time to pull my foot off the break and jam the gas so when she plowed into my trailer hitch the impact met no resistance and launched my truck across the road and into the woods. I had stopped in the road, left blinker signaling, waiting for an oncoming pickup truck to pass and, by the grace of God, it did pass me just as the distracted driver in the mirror slammed into my flashing taillight. Everyone walked away from the crash with no serious injury but if the impact had transpired 2 seconds earlier it would have been a “Road Warrior” bloodbath of terror and death. When I stepped out of my vehicle and looked through the roadside trees I had miraculously missed hitting i...
Comments