Pity the Groundhog

I have no love for Marmota monax but I do pity the furry troll in this outrageous Fiat commercial extolling the joy of young snowboarders motoring through the pristine natural environment in their jaundiced micro-car, music blaring and spraying snow on God's peaceful (though annoying) creatures en rout to some unknown destination. Is this advertisement meant to spur my interest in buying a Fiat? Count me out as a FCA customer. As I watched this yellow blob scurry across the snowscape my only wish was that it would get swallowed by a bottomless crevasse and leave the forest animals in peace.

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The Real Story with Gretchen Carlson

She was "sexy", but "too much hard work." I'm a regular Fox & Friends viewer (mostly in protest of the other insipid morning programs like Today and Good Morning America) so over the years I've gotten to know Gretchen Carlson pretty well. Stuck between Steve and Brian she always seemed a prudish scold with an irritating, self-righteous demeanor that I simply put up with because I figured some people in the Fox audience actually liked her persona. It was obvious that Steve and Brian did not, but they were stuck with her like so many talking heads and had to make the best of it - which they did. Besides, she was no worse than any of the other women on morning show TV - I mean, you're only going to find a certain kind of person to do this kind of work and that kind of person is the Gretchen Carlson kind. Then, one day, she was gone and replaced by Elisabeth Hasselbeck and the F&F ratings began to climb, and climb and climb - in two months view...

The Pop-Tarts Bowl: Frauds v. Fakers

In the Techno-Fascist Imperium the "Holidays" festivities start on Columbus Day, when the Halloween candy pops up, and end New Years Day with college football Bowl games, black-eyed peas and collard greens. To be clear, the Imperium doesn't celebrate Columbus Day, au contraire, the Indigenous Peoples' Day psyop has been pushed hard by the IC for the past 50 years of failure but the candy... THE CANDY. This year's IPD got turned up to eleven when the colonizers of America's 51st state got kidnapped, raped and murdered by some indigenous maniacs on Sukkot 10/7 and, as a result, soured the festive '23 Holiday mood. Hey, we soldiered on, as it were, and kept on celebrating while the world burned: Halloween - Big for children and weirdos. Thanksgiving - Focus on God, country and family. Hannukkah - Jewish assimilation. Xmas - Santa Claus and gifts. Kwanzaa - Black Lives Matter. I'd call them Happy Holidays if it wasn't a neo-Nazi dog whistle to vocal...

Lose This Skin Mika

I've been tempted to post something on the KOTCB blog since the day the Elvis from Queens tweeted about Mika's bleeding face and the ensuing media meltdown flooded the broadcast airways and Internet with gunk. But every frigg'n day @POTUS lets loose another tweet or 2 that usurps whatever I was going to say the day before so I've just been waiting and watching and loving every minute of it. With Sunday's napalm strike he might have finally brought them to their knees - but there's always tomorrow. The latest tweet was immediately condemned by journalists, who said Trump seemed to be promoting physical violence against the media, while a Republican lawmaker said the president was trying to "weaponize distrust" through his postings. "Promoting physical violence" or a tactic to "weaponize distrust" don't explain it folks - this is total war waged by a pachyderm with old, scared hide who's been beaten and whipped for so ...

Keeper of the Clown Bell

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