Skip to main content

Top Eleven

 Last night David Letterman "signed off" after 30+ years of late night TV and over that time he evolved from a cynical smart-ass to a cynical liberal smart-ass. This is a brief goodbye posting - Letterman hardly rates on the KOTCB blog - and a comment about TV Finale's in principle. They are almost all horrible and the hype and outpouring of grief by TV critics and log-rolling entertainers is annoying. I remember David Letterman when he had a morning show in 1980 - it was hilarious and totally original and, as one would expect, no one watched it. He moved to late night and there he stayed until last night - insulting guests, mocking staff and local store owners, employing his mom, throwing index cards and "inventing" the Top Ten List. Last nights last list was delivered by comedy all stars and the nostalgia reigned as it always does at these TV moments.

Top Ten Things I've Always Wanted To Say To Dave

Wednesday, May 20, 2015
10. "Of all the talk shows, yours is most geographically convenient to my home"
9. "Did you know you wear the same cologne as Muammar Qaddafi"
8. "Your extensive plastic surgery was a necessity and a mistake"
7. "I have no idea what I'll do when you go off the air...you know, I just thought of something - I'll be fine"
6. "Honestly, Dave, I've always found you to be a bit of an over actor"
5. "I'm just glad your show is being given to another white guy"
4. "Thanks for letting me take part in another hugely disappointing series finale"
3. "You are to comedy what I am to comedy"
2. "Thanks for finally proving men can be funny"
1. "I'll never have the money I owe you"
  
11. "Remember, you're just selling soap"

That "just selling soap" line is one Letterman used in his early late nights and it was funny, self-deprecating and true - though he seemed to forget it as he grew rich and famous and richer. I don't know where Dave Letterman will rank in the finale Top Ten - I've only seen 3 of them (M*A*S*H, Seinfeld and Johnny Carson) but I'm glad his run is over. Hosting this kind of show after reaching the age of 50 is kind of sad and after age 70 it's just criminal. Make room for the young blooded Colbert (age 51) - he's no Jack Paar, but no one like Paar can make it onto Network TV these days.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Real Story with Gretchen Carlson

She was "sexy", but "too much hard work." I'm a regular Fox & Friends viewer (mostly in protest of the other insipid morning programs like Today and Good Morning America) so over the years I've gotten to know Gretchen Carlson pretty well. Stuck between Steve and Brian she always seemed a prudish scold with an irritating, self-righteous demeanor that I simply put up with because I figured some people in the Fox audience actually liked her persona. It was obvious that Steve and Brian did not, but they were stuck with her like so many talking heads and had to make the best of it - which they did. Besides, she was no worse than any of the other women on morning show TV - I mean, you're only going to find a certain kind of person to do this kind of work and that kind of person is the Gretchen Carlson kind. Then, one day, she was gone and replaced by Elisabeth Hasselbeck and the F&F ratings began to climb, and climb and climb - in two months view

The Pop-Tarts Bowl: Frauds v. Fakers

In the Techno-Fascist Imperium the "Holidays" festivities start on Columbus Day, when the Halloween candy pops up, and end New Years Day with college football Bowl games, black-eyed peas and collard greens. To be clear, the Imperium doesn't celebrate Columbus Day, au contraire, the Indigenous Peoples' Day psyop has been pushed hard by the IC for the past 50 years of failure but the candy... THE CANDY. This year's IPD got turned up to eleven when the colonizers of America's 51st state got kidnapped, raped and murdered by some indigenous maniacs on Sukkot 10/7 and, as a result, soured the festive '23 Holiday mood. Hey, we soldiered on, as it were, and kept on celebrating while the world burned: Halloween - Big for children and weirdos. Thanksgiving - Focus on God, country and family. Hannukkah - Jewish assimilation. Xmas - Santa Claus and gifts. Kwanzaa - Black Lives Matter. I'd call them Happy Holidays if it wasn't  a neo-Nazi dog whistle  to vocal

Lose This Skin Mika

I've been tempted to post something on the KOTCB blog since the day the Elvis from Queens tweeted about Mika's bleeding face and the ensuing media meltdown flooded the broadcast airways and Internet with gunk. But every frigg'n day @POTUS lets loose another tweet or 2 that usurps whatever I was going to say the day before so I've just been waiting and watching and loving every minute of it. With Sunday's napalm strike he might have finally brought them to their knees - but there's always tomorrow. The latest tweet was immediately condemned by journalists, who said Trump seemed to be promoting physical violence against the media, while a Republican lawmaker said the president was trying to "weaponize distrust" through his postings. "Promoting physical violence" or a tactic to "weaponize distrust" don't explain it folks - this is total war waged by a pachyderm with old, scared hide who's been beaten and whipped for so