Skip to main content

Happy New Year, (football) Suckers!

"Everyone" wanted it, you demanded it, you even voted for it and tonight you get to watch it - NCAA Football Playoff Games. Anyone who's read this blog knows that I despise the entire concept of a National Champion in College Football and would, if I could, do away with national rankings altogether. So I consider this entire exercise an advertising driven abomination that should be forbidden by law - constitutional amendment if need be - to bring the bowl games back down to earth. But that's not going to happen...

So tonight we have 4 teams competing in traditional New Years "Day" Bowl Games being played at night with the second game (the Sugar Bowl) STARTING at 8:30 PM ET thereby guaranteeing a midnight finish - ain't that grand?! At least the Rose Bowl will be played in daylight between the Ducks and some team from Florida that has no business playing in the Rose Bowl, not because they're not a great team, but because the Rose Bowl is where the Big 10 and Pack 10 fight it out and FLA isn't in the Big 10. But hey, this entire bowl schedule is a joke - The Taxslayer Bowl, The Bitcoin St. Petersburg Bowl, The Advocate V100 Texas Bowl - What the hell?

And what are they fighting for in this "playoff"? The chance to play again next week or a chance to win this:


This nameless, corporate monstrosity - looks like Jerry Sandusky's butt plug - is what awaits the winner of these playoffs. Who would actually want something like this? Who covets it? People like this:

Yep, Larry Culpepper (a fictional character, I think) who thinks the college playoffs are just dandy. Care to meet him? Probably not, but that's what the sponsors of this travesty actually think of YOU Mr. ESPN watching, sports radio listening football fan - YOU, the guy who pleaded and begged for a college football playoff schedule. Well, you got your wish sucker - Happy New Year and enjoy the commercials

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Real Story with Gretchen Carlson

She was "sexy", but "too much hard work." I'm a regular Fox & Friends viewer (mostly in protest of the other insipid morning programs like Today and Good Morning America) so over the years I've gotten to know Gretchen Carlson pretty well. Stuck between Steve and Brian she always seemed a prudish scold with an irritating, self-righteous demeanor that I simply put up with because I figured some people in the Fox audience actually liked her persona. It was obvious that Steve and Brian did not, but they were stuck with her like so many talking heads and had to make the best of it - which they did. Besides, she was no worse than any of the other women on morning show TV - I mean, you're only going to find a certain kind of person to do this kind of work and that kind of person is the Gretchen Carlson kind. Then, one day, she was gone and replaced by Elisabeth Hasselbeck and the F&F ratings began to climb, and climb and climb - in two months view...

The Pop-Tarts Bowl: Frauds v. Fakers

In the Techno-Fascist Imperium the "Holidays" festivities start on Columbus Day, when the Halloween candy pops up, and end New Years Day with college football Bowl games, black-eyed peas and collard greens. To be clear, the Imperium doesn't celebrate Columbus Day, au contraire, the Indigenous Peoples' Day psyop has been pushed hard by the IC for the past 50 years of failure but the candy... THE CANDY. This year's IPD got turned up to eleven when the colonizers of America's 51st state got kidnapped, raped and murdered by some indigenous maniacs on Sukkot 10/7 and, as a result, soured the festive '23 Holiday mood. Hey, we soldiered on, as it were, and kept on celebrating while the world burned: Halloween - Big for children and weirdos. Thanksgiving - Focus on God, country and family. Hannukkah - Jewish assimilation. Xmas - Santa Claus and gifts. Kwanzaa - Black Lives Matter. I'd call them Happy Holidays if it wasn't  a neo-Nazi dog whistle  to vocal...

Summer of the Jackals

In the spring of 2021 I had a near death experience when my Chevy Silverado loaded with 30 cases of wine was rear-ended at 50mph  by a young lady who was texting-while-driving at 9:30 AM. Her Mercedes sedan flashed in my driver side mirror a moment before impact and that microsecond of awareness gave me just enough time to pull my foot off the break and jam the gas so when she plowed into my trailer hitch the impact met no resistance and launched my truck across the road and into the woods. I had stopped in the road, left blinker signaling, waiting for an oncoming pickup truck to pass and, by the grace of God, it did pass me just as the distracted driver in the mirror slammed into my flashing taillight. Everyone walked away from the crash with no serious injury but if the impact had transpired 2 seconds earlier it would have been a “Road Warrior” bloodbath of terror and death. When I stepped out of my vehicle and looked through the roadside trees I had miraculously missed hitting i...