She did it all for the In-N-Out

You can't blame Paris for wanting an In-N-Out Burger and 0.08 percent is not worthy of a DUI charge - you get almost that much alcohol in your morning orange juice. Two glasses of wine and you can't drive - come on.

The concerned citizen's at RIDL (Responsibility In DUI Laws, Inc.) will tell you that Paris Hilton's first mistake was to submit to a sobriety field test. It doesn't matter if you've had 2 or 20 bottles of hooch, you won't be able to pass that field test.

I understand that the Mothers Against Drunk Driving weren't too happy with Paris but that sort of brings me to the subject of this posting - Paris Hilton's Mom. That's right, I blame Kathy Hilton for this and so much else that's wrong with little Paris - starting with her god damn name. Six years ago I spoke with the admissions director of the private school where Paris Hilton received her education and asked point blank if the school had any influence on the way Paris misbehaves - "We can't really control the home environment" was her diplomatic answer. Yes, it's people like Kathy Hilton who incite revolution and the terror of the proletariat - no man can look upon her behavior or that of her children without contempt and a yearning for blood.

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