The beautiful game - for cream puffs

They call it "The Beautiful Game" and I'm second to none in my admiration for Soccer or what the rest of the world calls Football. I've played it, I've watched it and I've championed it - but the one aspect of the game that I really hate is the way pro soccer players fall down and fake injury. If you've been watching the FIFA World Cup games you've seen this unmanly behavior repeated on countless occasions in every game. For me, this craven approach to sport makes watching the Soccer games a disheartening and, at times, funny experience. I am convinced that this pusillanimous nancy boy gamesmanship is rightly perceived as un-American by the vast majority of US citizens.

Based on this analysis I believe the US 0f A has nothing to worry about from Iran or France or any other enemy in the soccer playing world. While they're writhing on the football pitch impotent and shamelessly dramatic our athletes are bathing in Steroids, assaulting strippers and maiming themselves in motorcycle accidents. The USA will know it's in trouble when it starts winning World Cup Soccer games.

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