This month I was asked to officiate a wedding and while doing so I took it upon myself to write down some observations on this ancient institution as a codification of natural impulses and a binding of mystical forces that can produce both gold and nitroglycerine (and everything in between) depending on the measure and mixture involved. This great honor was bestowed upon me by my step-daughter so I applied myself and crammed a lifetime worth of contemplation on this subject into a few short paragraphs which, as it turns out, was a wise approach because I had to preform this wedding under the clock of an approaching thunderstorm. As I spoke these words the barometric pressure noticeably dropped and the first heavy drops of rain began to fall as a prelude to the April showers just over my shoulder.
Friedrich Nietzsche made the pithy observation that “A married philosopher belongs to comedy” because, in his opinion, no thinking person would willingly shackle themselves with the household responsibilities, financial concerns, spousal expectations, and (God willing) children that accompany marital domesticity. It’s worth noting that he died from STD triggered insanity, alone in a sanitarium where he lived out the last 10 years of his life. Despite the personal effects of his philosophical nihilism, Nietzsche’s observations combined with post-modern innovations to traditional wedlock do force an inconvenient question to the alter: Why do people still get married? The skeptic would argue that reason and experience caution against it yet here we are on spring day in Virginia. Why?
I don’t have an answer. Why does anyone do anything? If you ask them for their reasons people usually just make something up because they often don’t know themselves. But I believe the impulse to form a union with another person and love them come what may is a purely natural desire lodged in every human heart. All people yearns for this kind of partnership - those that tell you they don’t are, like I said, lying - and we can all count ourselves blessed to bear witness to the providential union we are currently invoking.
So do not ask why - ask what? Here before us are two stunning examples, dare I say prototypical examples, of that man and woman that God created and has sustained as unique “life-forces” on this mortal coil. Grayson, the very image of a noble warrior found in Mediterranean antiquity has been animated and set before us - intelligent, athletic and honorable. The fair maiden Isabelle composed of womanly charms, inscrutable designs and vestal virtue brings life to everything around her. Each one is the pride of their families, has a host of friends and adds vibrancy to their community. They are loved and they love each other in a passionate and respectful romance that many people dream of but few actually experience. Together these two unique and restless souls frolic and today we must bind them together through ceremony and God’s blessing.
Male and female are distinct yet interdependent energies whose tension and union generate the "life force" of existence itself. The alchemical union of of these forces produces wonderfully sublime results when properly measured and mixed with loving care but woe to the lazy inconsistent fool who doesn’t pay attention to the formula. Living together as man and woman is to weigh and measure many potions and live with the resulting elixir. To fully appreciate the joys to come and meet the challenges that await you must be married and bound by a sacred oath spoken before God, each other and the dearly beloved gathered here today. Speak these vows with intention, remember them and live them to the fullest and you will be blessed with a happy marriage.
At this point the vows were spoken, rings exchanged and marriage consummated to cheers and elation by the 200+ dearly beloved witnesses to this powerful event. The crowd dispersed into the house for cocktails and hors d'oeuvres as a soaking rain poured for about 45 minutes. It was an auspicious start to a marriage of free and equal partners who have a wonderful life ahead of themselves.
FYI - I write 4 daily stories for the Americans Direct News Network with the assistance of GROK AI and create amazing artwork for each story using the same technology. The news stories are hilarious and I think the picture combos can be very thought provoking.
For those readers who want a daily hit from the Keeper Of The Clown Bell I recommend a follow on the Instagram account of Mr. White Chocolate Chas T. where you can find commentary like this reflection on the recent assassination attempt on DJT at the Nerd Ball.
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