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What happened to my apocalyptic blowjob?

America's Flaccid Penis Gets A Blow Job

What might have been...
If you're someone who hates rich people (or just people) then the prospect of Hurricane Irma laying waste to Palm Beach (and the rest of Florida) filled you with glee. The build up to this "act of God" was something to behold and the excitement consumed every news outlet in the land pushing any and all stories right off the air and onto the back pages of the paper/web sites. Even 9/11 was completely forgotten because politicians and journalists kept a laser focus on the eye wall and it's meandering path through the Caribbean. It was the biggest storm ever! "A Nuclear Hurricane" claimed the mayor of Miami Beach and why not? Who's gonna stop you from saying any damn thing you want in this climate of free-range fear. It reminded me of Hurricane Joaquin back in 2015 (remember that). Well, unlike Joaquin and the prophesied destruction of our nations capital Irma did deliver some destruction but spared the east coast of FLA (including Mara Lago) and was, for the most part, a non-event when you consider what it was SUPPOSED to be - which was total and complete annihilation of the penis-ula.

Old news - what's the new in the world to discuss? DACA, Tax Reform, NORKS? How about this:

  1. Trump retweets GIF of him hitting Clinton with golf ball
  2. Trump retweets slew of memes, including one of him hitting Hillary Clinton with golf ball
  3. President Trump retweets golf ball hitting Hillary Clinton
  4. Trump retweets edited video of him hitting Hillary Clinton with golf ball
  5. Donald Trump Retweets Animation of Him Hitting Golf Ball Into Hillary Clinton from Account with Anti-Semitic Past

That's right America, retweets is what's getting served up for your daily dose of moral indignation and hate crime hand wringing. Stew in it for a while.

I will gladly acknowledge the the Elvis from Queens is the king of retweets and this one is just as powerful and well deserved (has anyone been shocked!!! by the things HRC says about Trump on her "What Happened"* book tour?) as all the others he's blasted out over the years but is it worthy of all the huffing and puffing these pathetic journalists expend on a tiny little tweet? You'd honestly think the world was going to end and that Twitter is the agent of God's wrath - maybe it is but count me among the skeptics. Hitlery DID face plant while boarding an airplane and, unfortunately for her, no evil golfer hit her with a line drive to knock her over - she did it all by herself. Not enough stamina, too old and sick, too weak, "crooked"... She lost. The video of Trump hitting her with a golf ball is funny (and true) because it's obviously NOT what happened even though HRC now claims that it IS what happened. The talking heads hate it - they did everything they could to hide images of Her Highness falling down on the campaign trail and here it comes right from the POTUS phone to 40 Million followers. They have to talk about it but they can't talk about it's truth so they wrap their lips around it a suck, suck, suck in a vain attempt to get it up - give it a rest CNN because the hour is late and after so many lies no one believes your heart is in it.

* The Glass Floor is what really happened.

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